In this final part of the series on ‘how to pull a monstrous amount of weight off the floor while giving gravity the middle finger’, we will explore the following:

• Some alternate exercises that you’ve probably never tried, but will have a nice carry-over to your deadlifts.
• Variations of the deadlift which will help you increase your max, make you more beautiful or just generally more bad-ass.
• Some fair-well bidding thoughts, a video of my recent max and a blessing that only a Jerk could give.

And in case you haven’t read the earlier articles in my deadlift mastery series, I suggest you get with the program or GTFO…

READ PART 1 –or- READ PART 2

Deadlift Variations

1. The Rack Pull

A rack pull is exactly like a deadlift, except the range of motion (ROM) is cut in half. It’s like the deadlift’s shorter, uglier cousin. So instead of the bar starting off at your shins, it starts off at your knees. These are usually done inside a power rack but ultimately, any deadlift where the bar rests higher and the ROM is decreased is effectively a rack pull. I personally use the squat rack as seen below…

The great thing about these is that you can probably lift anywhere from 50-200% heavier that your normal deadlift max. Some can go even higher than that. It gives you the confidence to know that if a normal deadlift ever goes past your knees – you’ve got that shit in the bag. After all, you’ve probably rack pulled a heavier weight before. Also an awesome exercise to practice your lockouts.

2. Snatch Grip Deadlift

Another ugly but highly effective variation of the normal lift which plays around with the ROM. The only difference is that you grab the bar as wide as you possibly can to increase your ROM instead of decreasing it.

The result? Well, it’s a fucking bitch and takes more effort. With a snatch grip (far outside the rings on barbell), you effectively have to pull the bar higher. So a longer travel path = more work = more ass kicking = better deadlift in the end. Leave your ego at the door, you will not be able to lift as much as you do on a regular deadlift.

3. Sumo Deadlift

Sticking with the theme of playing around with the ROM, the third ugly cousin is the Sumo deadlift. Just like the Rack Pull, it decreases your ROM, but is done so by taking a massively wide stance. Women usually prefer the sumo since they rock them wide, child-bearing hips.

But don’t let that be a fucking excuse. Also, a sumo pull isn’t nearly as impressive as a regular pull. Just like the Rack Pull, you’ll be able to lift heavier loads – so hit up the gym with evil intentions and crush it.

Finally, if you really want to give yourself a challenge, or if you’re bored to tears and want a serious challenge, try the Sumo Snatch Deadlift. Hopefully you’re intelligent enough to figure out what that is and my inbox won’t end up with 50 emails asking me to explain it. If I do, I will be murdering new born kittens. No joke!

Save a kitten, use your brain.

4. Deficit Pulls

While the Sumo and Snatch deadlifts don’t really require any equipment (which makes them rather convenient), a deficit pull is kind of the opposite of the Rack Pull – meaning that instead of putting the bar on a higher surface, you put yourself on a higher surface.

This results in you having to reach down further and pulling the bar over a greater distance. It’s kind of like the snatch grip in a way, but helluva lot more challenging. One piece of advice: Warm-the-fuck-up before attempting these and do not start off with a weight you regularly use for your normal deadlifts. You’ve been warned.

The beauty of deficit pulls is that once you can pull a beastly amount of weight, you can be reasonably sure that your normal deadlifts will be 10-20lbs heavier. In fact, one of the best plateau busters is to keep doing deficit pulls till it matches the current load you’re stuck on. So, how much deficit should you put yourself in? I would say increase your height anywhere from 1-3 inches.

5. Trap-bar Deadlift

I personally love these, but due to my gym being all commercial and shit, I can only manage them when I hit up expensive university gyms. It’s not that my gym cannot afford them, they probably just don’t have a clue as to what it is. Nor do they have a place to put it.

So, why are they awesome? Because the weight is evenly distributed since it isn’t out front of you. This gives you a better center of gravity, your spine handles the load a lot better, it feels more natural and as such, you can pull a fuck tonne amount of weight.

I will say that it is very easy to become addicted to the trap bar deadlift. You’ll want to do it all the time because it’ll make you feel like the shit when you pull multiple plates off the floor. But resist that urge like you would a stripper with a bad case of herps.

6. Speed Pulls

If you were to look at the greatest deadlifter of our time – the 300lbs monster, Konstantin Konstantinovs warming up back stage before his pull, what would you see him do?

Eat babies? Probably.

Wrestle a few bears? That’s fucking given.

Punch a wall because it’s in his way? No doubt.

But what you would also see, is him doing extremely fast pulls with near-explosive jump power at 50-60% of his max. Why would he bother lifting things so light, very quickly? (Note: “light weight” to him, is like 500lbs)

Because he is a smart motherfucker, and he knows that if you can lift a lighter weight quickly, then you can lift a heavier weight slowly. However, the opposite isn’t true. This is why you can bring in a national male gymnast who weighs 150lbs and has never lifted heavy weights in his lift, throw on 300lbs on the bar, ask him to pull it and I guarantee that piece of iron will come off the floor with ease.

How? Because gymnastics requires you to throw around your bodyweight at an explosive speed. The bottom line is – if you’re explosive, you’re probably strong as well. End of story.

Carry-Over Exercises

1. Shrugs

Actually no, what I really meant to say was, HEAVY-ASS-SHRUGS. It doesn’t matter what you plan on using – the barbell, shrug machines or hell, even the moronic Smith Machine. The idea is to use poundages that you never though you could hold on to.

My general rule of thumb for these is if you can go past 5, you’re shrugging too light. As you’ll see below, my current max is at 365lbs, but I can easily shrug 450lbs on a shrug apparatus we have at my gym. It still relies on plate loading, just like any other free weight piece of equipment but it requires a neutral grip and each shrug arm is independent of the other which makes it slightly more challenging.

So again, my shrugs are almost a 100lbs heavier than my regular pulls. I truly believe that my monster shrugging ability is one of the reasons my deadlift is where it’s at. Not only will it give you killer traps, but your grip strength will be phenomenal and locking out becomes child’s play. Having said all of that, be sure not to use a mixed grip –overhand or neutral only and if you must, use straps, it’s ok.

Straps while deadlifting = you’re a pussy. Straps while shrugging heavy ass weight = acceptable.

2. Close Stance Box Squats

I got this tip from my good buddy Jordan Syatt (who is an absolute BEAST at deadlifts in his own right). There isn’t much to it, you put a bar on your back, use a hip width stance (like the one you’d use on your deadlift), squat down till you’re seated on a box or bench, then explode up. You can go parallel or less than parallel – doesn’t matter. Just make sure your ass sinks to the level you deadlift at the minimum.

For beginners or those who just don’t want to squat for some dumb reason, you can start with close-stance leg presses. The only downside to the leg press is that after a while the carry-over starts to become less effective. I personally started with the close-stance leg presses because I could load the machine up with huge weights, without too much fear, and it certainly helped. Now though, its squats or nothing!

3. Heavy Hip Thrusts

Bret Contreras is the master of hip thrusts and I advise you watch the video below on how to do them properly. Why are hip-thrusts effective? Well if you’ve read the first two parts of this series then the answer to that question should be easy to figure out – so I’ll leave it to you.

4. Zercher Squats

What does Louie Simmons and 15 other members of Weside Barbell have in common? (Besides being able to deadlift 800lbs that is…)

That’s right, they all do motherfuckin’ Zercher Squats! The awesomeness of the Zercher needs to be experienced by all. It’s as uncomfortable as it is awesome. First, let’s talk about the uncomfortable-ness.

It will take you roughly a month to quit bitching and get used to a heavy ass load resting on your biceps. Having said that, it’s completely ok to use aids that alleviate the pressure such as towel wrapping the bar, Fat Gripz in the right position, squat foam pads etc. Also, long sleeves help. So why exactly would you want to go through such madness?

Well first, because this exercise will give you an awesome deadlift, that’s why. What I love about it is how the load is in front of you like a front squat, but it’s also lower. You can also kind of imitate the position of a deadlift by bending over during the eccentric phase of the Zercher – almost like doing a good morning. Suffice to say, if you can manage heavy Zerchers, then you can manage some heavy pulls off the floor. Thank you Mr. Ed Zercher, my hats off to you.

5. Direct Lower Back Work

Weighted hyperextensions are your best friend. Do them often, do them awesome, do them justice and you shall be rewarded with a bullet-proof lower back and a deadlift so heavy, you might not even have to drop the bar once you lift it… the Earth will come to you.

Concluding This Series

There you go – 3 articles on how I, and plenty of others, manage to pull such a ridiculous amount of weight off the floor. I really didn’t think I’d have this much to say on deadlifting, but as the words started to involuntarily pour out like lava, I had to split this bitch up into 3 sections. Otherwise, reading it would have been trying to drink from a fire hose while wearing a thong.

I want to leave by saying that everyone – from you, your mom to your grandma, should be deadlifting. Also, you should all stop being pussies and test out your true strength by pulling a max every few months. Just to see if what you’ve been doing is more suited to jerking off or if you’re actually making some sort of progress.

By following all the tips in the series, there is no way in fucking hell that you won’t make progress. It’s everything I’ve ever done and will continue to do, and it’s everything that has made my clients stronger than a Spanish bull with some mustard stuck up its ass – while keeping their body fat at sexy levels.

Here’s to pulling. And below are some kick ass videos, starting with me pulling 365lbs at 129.7lbs – 2.8 times bodyweight.

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© 2012, By FitJerk. FitJerk.com is a division of Flawless Fitness Media – All Rights Reserved – No part of this post is to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face. All images are copyright of their respective owners.

Only LOSERS have nothing to say or discuss. Put your thoughts, comments or general rants in the comment section below. FJ does not use censorship but obvious racial slurs and over-the-top stupidity will be deleted.

In the first part of this series, we went over frequency and all the little ways you could manipulate the shit out of it to your advantage. But not in the same way you would manipulate the opposite sex, of course. In this next instalment, I’m going to take you through the most effective technique (in my opinion). Oh and the carry-over exercises along with deadlift variations will come in during future instalments. I haven’t decided whether to split this into 3 or 4 parts, so stay tuned.

And on a side note, for some stupid reason there were a small batch of dim witted fools who jumped to the conclusion that  because I talked about frequency first, it must mean I think it’s the most important. As such, they felt compelled to say that I’m wrong. I guess it makes sense how morons would come to a moronic conclusion, but the fact of the matter is that everything listed in this article and everything that will be listed in the future of the series is important. It’s kind of like a car. Is the transmission more important than the engine? Nonsense. So remember that as you read along… not that you have to, because you weren’t one of the morons, right?

The Stance

Let’s talk about how you should stand. There are many schools of thought on this and while I’m going to lay down what works best for me, I highly suggest  you play around till you find a stance that works the best for your body’s natural biomechanical structure. If there is anyone that says one stance is absolutely better than another, punch them in the throat. There are no absolutes; except for the fact that the deadlift is awesome, and so am I.

I personally have long legs and therefore a hip-width stance works the best. I’ve tried the really close width stance, and the theory behind it is that if you were to do your most powerful, explosive vertical jump, you would have your feet close together. But this theory doesn’t always lend well to application – although there are dudes who pull monster weights with a close stance.

Then there are some who go slightly wider than hip-width but not quite shoulder width. I switch back and forth between this stance and hip-width just to keep myself entertained. Sort of like how people still pleasure themselves even thought they have a girlfriend or boyfriend.

This stance is rare but I can see it’s appeal. First, it marginally decreases the distance you need to pull the bar which can be a huge plus for short dudes/dudetts. Next, it increases the surface area of your base and the bigger the base, the more stable you are. The more stable you are, the more confidence you’ll have when there is a fuck tonne of weight on the bar and it’ll be easier to pull. The down side is that you might buckle your knees inward and besides making you look completely retarded, it will rob you of all power.

The next thing we need to address is the angle of your feet. Again, there aren’t any “absolute” angles but the general rule of thumb is that your toes should be pointed outward anywhere from 10-15 degrees. That’s right, bring out that protractor from grade 9 and draw out those fancy lines. It has to be perfect. Not.

The Distance

Look at the legs of some of the most brutal deadlifters. What do you see? That’s right, long ass fucking socks. The reason being is that when you’re about to set, your shins should be right up against the bar. As in, touching.

What this does is it forces you to sit back. When your shins are too far away, you can drop down lower and then you are essentially squatting the weight. This ain’t no squat, it’s a pull. Walk right up, sit back and let the bar travel up your shins, hugging every inch. And if you don’t have long ass socks, fear not because bleeding shins are the sign of a successful, bad ass pull.

Another key area where distance is important is near lockout. There are plenty of people who get the bar up and then forget that this is a PULL and as such, there is distance between their hips and the bar. Useless. You aren’t just lifting the bar vertically, even though it may look like so. You are actually pulling that shit into you. Always, always remember this fact.

The Grip

I’ll try not to make this too complicated. First, keep your arms as close to your body which will help you reduce the distance the bar has to travel and choose a mixed grip. I train double over hand (or pronated) grip sometimes, just to tickle my fancy but when I need to quit fucking around and pull like my life depends on it, the mixed grip is my go-to.

And get some fucking chalk already. Leather looks good inside a car, or on a horse but not on your hands during a workout. Calluses are mandatory to develop as far as I’m concerned. If you claim to be a deadlifter but when I shake your hands it feels like marshmallows dipped in Oil of Olay, I will slap you.

Finally, I had fallen into the bullshit of believing that if you don’t switch your mixed grip every now and then, your arms will end up looking retarded due to once bicep being bigger than the other. Nothing could be further from the truth. I sustained a thumb injury on my right thumb and as such, pronating my right hand during a deadlift (even at 135lbs) caused severe pain. So I had to use a mixed grip where my right hand was supinated and my left pronated. I figured if I ever saw my right bicep get out of proportion, I’d do some bro-curls on my left side to make up for it.

Well, this thumb incident happened well over a year ago, my thumb is still slightly fucked (due to repeated injuries from BJJ and gymnastics), I still use the same grip and I don’t have one retarded bicep that is bigger than the other. Conventional grip wisdom can go fuck itself.

Another plus is that if you practice one grip all the time, you’ll get really god damn good at it – just like anything else you manage to do a shit load of times. Go figure. If you want to be awesome at the dead, pick a grip and stick with it. You can change it up for fun from time to time, but have one main go-to.

Fuck The Flatback…

…at least near the top part of the lift, before lockout. This is another area where I fell victim to conventional wisdom at a young age and never questioned it because the advice came from “pros”. Turns out these “pros” were weak as shit and would probably have a harder time lifting their inflated ego off the bar than some actual weight. So here’s the conventional wisdom: Keep your back nice and flat throughout the entire lift. A rounded or hunched back = disc herniation and other horrible injuries.

Reality: Andy Bolton (who has deadlifted over 1000lbs) and Konstantin Konstantinovs (who set a world record lift of 939lbs @308 BW) deadlift with rounded-backs.

In fact, Konstantin has been doing the round-back deadlift for the past 16 years and says that if anything, it makes him feel stronger during the pull. Below is a translated quote.

That I will break my back is something I heard from as long as I started to deadlift, or for the last 16 years. I have always deadlifted with a rounded back. My legs have always been lagging in development, but results in deadlift have always been increasing. My back is prone to injuries only when I squat with a heavy weight, but when I deadlift, my back remains in the same rounded position throughout the lift, irrespective of whether I can lift the weight or not, and this protects it from injury. But you need very strong abs if you want to deadlift like that.

However, you need to understand that there is a big difference between knowing the proper round-back technique and being a noob that doesn’t know what the fuck they’re doing. It is because of this reason, that I coach people to deadlift with a flat back. What happens is that as they get stronger, the body naturally starts to round their backs near the top range of the lift. It’s just more mechanically advantageous to do so, and therefore your body does. Plus, by the time you end up naturally rounding your back, your lower back will have developed nicely and your lockout should be bang-on.

For those looking to master the round-back technique, Matt Perryman has written an excellent article on it HERE. Below is a quote from the article about the technique.

That’s the basic sequence of events to follow: exhale and round the thoracic spine, grab the bar, inhale into your gut and brace the spine, then pull. There is one thing we can all agree on: to make this work, you need devastatingly strong lower-back and abdominal muscles. Bill Starr has long suggested doing Good Mornings, Stiff-Legged Deadlifts, and high-rep back hyperextensions to build the strength of the spinal erectors.

This is not unlike the suggestions from Westside, as Louie Simmons has also recognized the value of having a very strong midsection, suggesting a healthy diet of glute-ham raises, reverse hypers, and assorted ab-strengthening work. If you want to be a round-backer, you need to work the lower back and the abs. When is say work the abs, I don’t mean 100 crunches and then those leg raises where you hang from the sleeves on the bar. Use loaded exercises.

^^ Go ahead. You tell him that round-backing is stupid. I fucking dare you.

I am personally just starting to get the hang of the round-back technique myself and the results are promising. My back isn’t broken and my pull is increasing. Win-win.

Head Position And Footwear

Unless you have weight training shoes, everything else should be dumped. The reason being, is that most shoes give you a heel lift, and when your heels are lifted, you cannot sit back properly to active the hamstrings, glutes… actually your entire posterior chain for that matter. In layman’s terms, your posterior chain in composed of all the muscles on the backside which are involved in “pulling” something.

Barefoot is the absolute best way to go, period. If you cannot go barefoot, use socks or grab some Vibram Five Fingers. If your commercial gym gives you shit, tell them to STFU and that they need to pick up an anatomy book. Then throw your shoes at their face and begin lifting.

As for the head, it should ideally be down with your chin tucked to keep your spine neutral… but that never happens when you’re pulling really heavy. Though Eric Cressey is an exception – his form tends to be textbook perfect. Personally, I try and start that way but I always end up looking straight ahead or slightly higher than I should. So try your best with this, but don’t lose sleep over it. It’s not going to make or break your lift. Do whatever if fucking takes to get…

The Lockout

Saved the best for last because I really wanted to go in-depth and detailed with this shit. So here we go.

Just hump the damn bar.

Hmm, that didn’t take as my words as I thought it would. Awesome. Truth be told, it really is that easy and there is no use of making this anymore complicated than it needs to be.

Now go pull some shit and join my ass next time where we discuss the most effective deadlift variations along with assistance exercises you should always be doing.

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© 2012, By FitJerk. FitJerk.com is a division of Flawless Fitness Media – All Rights Reserved – No part of this post is to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face. All images are copyright of their respective owners.

Only LOSERS have nothing to say or discuss. Put your thoughts, comments or general rants in the comment section below. FJ does not use censorship but obvious racial slurs and over-the-top stupidity will be deleted.

This is a question I’ve been getting a lot lately, and I’m going to start this off by stating that although I’m quite beastly, I am not the best deadlifter ever. Nor do I claim to be. However it wouldn’t shock me if I am, pound for pound, one of the strongest within my general vicinity. And by this time next year, one of the strongest ever. It’s one of those “new year’s resolutions”.

So how the hell did I do it? Well it’s a combination of magic, an absolute fucking hatred of the bar, awesome exercises that have a good carry-over effect and getting as many reps under my belt as possible. That’s the gist of it, and I’ll zoom into every one of those aspects, except magic. I cannot go into magic. Shit is hard to explain on a blog.

That would be me, pulling 335lbs for reps at 130lbs BW

Frequency

One of the easiest ways to master something is to do it over and over again until it’s hard-wired into your brain. Do you really think that Paris Hilton gets confused when you put a man sausage in her hands? Hell no. The girl could give a masterful handjob in her sleep… and in the same manner, I could pick up a heavy ass bar off the floor in mine.

So what exactly are we hard-wiring? The pain? The brutality? Well sort of. Mainly technique (which we’ll get to in Part 2). Your technique needs to be so good at lighter loads that when you do go for that true one rep maximum (1RM), it’ll be an afterthought. In fact, the higher the load, the shitter your technique gets so if you don’t have a picture-perfect lift at 80-95% of your 1RM, you’re selling yourself short.

Having said all of that, it might come as a shocker that I don’t really do heavy deadlifts that often anymore. In fact, I only do them bi-weekly. And when I say “do them”, I mean I go all out. Some guys pull even less frequently (tri-weekly or once a month). So how do I manage to increase the weight I pull? Easy, I bust my ass on the variation exercises (which we’ll get to in Part 2).

In this first part of the deadlift series, were going to get into how often you should be doing the actual deadlift. Below are my basic rules of thumb based on your experience level.

Beginners

Most will probably fall into this category. If you haven’t bothered to try a true one rep maximum on your deadlift, you’re a beginner. If you haven’t been doing deadlifts for at least a year, you’re a beginner. If you cannot pull 2x your bodyweight, you’re a beginner. As such, you should be pulling 70% of your max 3x a week just focusing on technique and getting reps under your belt. Do this for 3-6 months straight. Make sure you get someone who knows what the fuck they’re doing to take a look at your lift and give you corrections.

Also, depending on who you get to coach your ass, you’ll receive different recommendations. As long as this coach can him or herself pull a massive load off the floor, take their shit into consideration. I was an absolute, soul-sucking sponge during my learning phase. And I still am. Even now, I hit up guys that pull heavier than me and ask for suggestions. Every little tweak will help your ass get closer into the elite category of pullers. What I’ve listed here is what I did and what I personally recommend.

Intermediate

When your technique has become so consistent that you don’t have to think about it anymore, you’ve reached an intermediate level. Also, at this point you should have tried pulling your max a couple of times. You should have also bombed a couple attempts and have had to hang your hand in shame. No one makes it to this level without having their ass handed to them. It’s part of the game, so learn to deal with it.

Intermediate pullers should generally work their deadlifts once a week. During that time, they should also focus on performing the variations of the deadlifts such the Rack Pull, Trap Bar, Sumo and the Snatch Grip (more on these in Part 2).

Advanced

Welcome to the tip of the iceberg. There is no point in trying to explain when you’ve reached an advanced level at the deadlift. You’ll just know. When you reach this level, there is no hard and fast rule of how often you need to pull because by this point, you’ll have probably figured out what works best. It could be once a week, bi-weekly, tri-weekly, once a month or whatever. Sometimes I mix it up and go once a week for a few months, just because I fucking love this lift. It makes my balls tingle and makes my week.

Plateau Busting By Playing With Frequency

Nothing lasts forever. Except maybe my love for the ladies. But there will come a time where your set frequency just isn’t working anymore (this is specially true for intermediate/advanced lifters). The weight on the bar isn’t going up, your reps at 90% 1RM have halted, you’re actually getting weaker etc. You’ve tried all the assistance work in the world; from heavy shrugs to the ShakeWeight and you’re pissed off.

So what to do? The answer is either to add frequency of take a long ass break.

The first thing you should try is obviously the long ass break – since it’s the easiest to do. Take a month off the deadlift and just focus on other shit. Then come back and attack your original routine frequency like it raped your mother and killed your dog. Seriously. You’ve gotta come back with a vengeance.

If the break didn’t help, then it’s time to absolutely crush the shit out of the pull and your body. Increase the volume to an unheard of frequency for one week – every other day. While you don’t want to be doing max effort one rep pulls every other day, you DO want to be pulling your 2-3 rep maximums. Do as much as you can, as heavy as you possibly can. At the end of the week, you’ll be broken down into pieces. Then take 2 weeks off and get back into it. Oh, and a weight lifting belt is recommended.

Some might disagree with this and argue that the load you’ll put on your CNS is too much. Well I say that’s the fucking point. You’ve obviously tried everything under the sun and steady state progress isn’t working anymore, so you need to shock your body and your CNS to adapt with ridiculous volume at heavy loads. Trust me, this shit will rarely fail. This method also works great for the squat. In fact you can go daily with the squat. Just ask those that have taken on a daily squat protocol for a couple weeks – all of them report a boost in progress.

Next Instalment

During part 2, I will cover the basics of good (or good enough) technique along with other exercises that will really catapult your pulls to the next level. For now, get those reps under your belt.

==> UPDATE: READ PART 2 HERE

==> UPDATE: READ PART 3 HERE

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© 2012, By FitJerk. FitJerk.com is a division of Flawless Fitness Media – All Rights Reserved – No part of this post is to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face. All images are copyright of their respective owners.

Only LOSERS have nothing to say or discuss. Put your thoughts, comments or general rants in the comment section below. FJ does not use censorship but obvious racial slurs and over-the-top stupidity will be deleted.

Today, I feel like ranting, and so I shall.

Some say they are a myth. Others have claimed they exist, but only in small numbers. But the truth is, there is probably one in the very gym you call your second home. In fact in every gym around the world, they exist. The bad ass walking, imaginative lat syndrome strutting, bosu ball stomping fuckers who have a vocal projection intensity that is inversely proportional to the load on the bar which they are lifting.

I call them, RiceLifters.

The word stems from the popular term known as “Ricer” – A pejorative that is often intended to denigrate cars which have been modified cosmetically to give a false impression of high performance, but are not actually capable of it. Why “rice”? Well because the false high performance noise was usually applied to asian import cars, where the majority of the population eats rice. However, don’t get this shit twisted as the term “ricer” is more of a mild put down rather than a racial slur in this day and age. Any car, import or domestic, that shouts louder than it goes is usually called a “ricer” since the term has become ubiquitous.

In a similar way, RiceLifters send out the illusion that they are lifting bad ass weights, but are not actually capable of it.

Now let’s backup a second and deal with the issue of “yelling.” There is nothing wrong with exhaling a shit load of air as you perform a lift. In fact, you’re a complete moron if you don’t. And I’m not even against yelling as there are times it helps. But if you’re 170lbs and are pulling 155, please STFU and breathe like a normal human being. There are times when noises are warranted – such as a 2-3x bodyweight load. You’ll see bodybuilders and powerlifters scream their faces off, but the sheer weight they are throwing around is fucking enormous. Therefore a release in energy is warranted.

What really pisses me off though, is that it’s the RiceLifters who have given the general population the idea that yelling or exhaling air quickly is stupid. It’s why we have an entire chain of gyms that ban any loud noises during workouts and ring an alarm to signal that you’re a douchebag.

I want to be able to exhale and yell – when the time is right. But when I see dudes performing a barbell curl while blasting the capability of their vocals, I wana drop kick them in the face. If your lift isn’t worthy, keep  you pie hole shut. No one cares.

Should You Approach A RiceLifter?

Nahh. My solution is to generally laugh, out, loud. Yup, a real life “lol”. It’s even better when you’re with a bunch of training partners. Make sure the RiceLifters can hear it, as most of the time they’ll feel humiliated and stop. The rare percentage of them might have the balls to say, “aye watchu laughing at?!”

Just remember, they are like little dogs. All bark, no bite. There are many obvious responses to their ridiculous question…

“You”

“Yo face”

“The weight on your bar”

“Your pathetic attempt at (insert exercise)”

Be creative and in the moment. I’m sure you’ll come up with a gem.

The type of RiceLifter I wouldn’t mind hearing scream

RiceLifter vs Legit Newbie

When I coined the term, a few said that there’s a possibility the patron might be hitting a new PR and that we all start somewhere.

Bullshit.

You just know when a person is trying to hit their new PR versus the moron that yells no matter what exercise or weight he’s lifting. If I saw a 100lbs dude scream as he barely managed to lockout 200lbs, I’d be the first to give him props.

Truth be told, even as a newbie there is no reason you should be screaming your face off. I say earn your right to do so. Or train for a legit meet and do it there. The last time I partially yelled was when I pulled 345lbs off the floor at 129 (That’s 2.7x BW) . And just recently I managed a RackPull of 415lbs for 3 reps at the exact same weight, and there was no loud noises. That happened to be a PR too.

So there you have it, god damn RiceLifters. Been a while since I’ve done a rant post… I think I need to do more. In a stroke of sheer irony, a rant post could almost be considered yelling. But that’s what happens when you’re awesome, do what the fuck you want and have earned the right.

Earn yours. Now stfu and lift >:)

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© 2012, By FitJerk. FitJerk.com is a division of Flawless Fitness Media – All Rights Reserved – No part of this post is to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face. All images are copyright of their respective owners.

Only LOSERS have nothing to say or discuss. Put your thoughts, comments or general rants in the comment section below. FJ does not use censorship but obvious racial slurs and over-the-top stupidity will be deleted.

If there’s one thing that “As Seen On TV” products do well, its overhype and under-deliver. I mean it’s become a running joke in our generation that late night infomercials can be death to your wallet, and that’s what gets me. People still buy that shit in truck loads! So when I was asked to try Knockout Abs directly from the inventor, I was like “meh”. Also, I didn’t want to ruin his hopes and dreams since A) I’m very much into combat sports so if a product is being marketed towards fighters, it better live up to the hype or I’ll crush it with the might of my pen and B) I know how to get abs – and the secret isn’t in using ab machines.

Still, somehow he convinced me and I decided, why the hell not. Plus, pre-judging something isn’t my thing. At least, not usually. Below is the official description of Knockout Abs

Product Name: Knockout Abs
MSRP: $60
Availability: High

Straight From The Horse’s Mouth

KnockOut Abs(R) is the all new boxing ab workout machine with mma inspired moves that will rock your core and challenge every muscle in your body. Lose weight fast, sculpt your abs and obliques with this amazing as seen on tv ab machine complete with DVD.

The Backstory

[Note: If you’re just interested in the review itself, skip this section. But if you want to know how late night info marketing companies fuck shit up, read on]

I want to get into WHY I decided to give this thing a try – I mean all my friends were like “dude, an ‘As Seen On Tv’ product? You know that’s gona be shit, why bother?” And true enough, when I did a little research on Knockout Abs I laughed my ass off at it’s commercials. You have these bimbos and douchebags who clearly know nothing about boxing, hopelessly trying to punch a speedbag, but failing miserably. I’ve seen better timing in drunken bar fights.

So out of curiosity, I decided to dig a little deeper and as it turns out, the communication between the inventor (who shall not be named, for obvious reasons) and the marketing execs was non-existent.

The basic story goes like this: Man invents product over a decade ago and gets rejected for reasons that weren’t popular at the time (mma was non-existent and men in general weren’t buying shit off tv). Fair enough. Then, after a bunch of waiting, he notices the rise in combat sports and intelligently decides that ‘now is the time’ to get this product out there. He patents the thing (which is an expensive process) and get’s some sort of deal from a big-time marketing company. The detail of the deal is probably similar to something you see on Dragon’s Den but I didn’t dig too deep, so I don’t know who owned what percent of the company.

For half a year, inventor is left clueless about the product he came up with and then suddenly gets the call that they are shooting the infomercial. The investment made into shooting this infomercial was ridiculous from what he told me and from what I gathered personally, all the cash was spent in the WRONG areas. Instead of finding people who knew how to use a speedbag, they created an expensive set and hired a bunch of monkeys and hot chicks that looked good on camera – playing it safe by executing marketing 101.

Inventor realizes that he created the product for a different market (serious fighters and athletes) and that the infomercial is marketing this to every Joe Blow in America. But once so much money has been spent on shooting, a re-shoot is not possible. After the dust settles, the product (surprisingly) doesn’t do as well as intended and is stuck in a weird position. To people who train in combat sports, it looks like a fucking joke. To general North Americans, it looks like “another scam tv product”. So what to do? Inventor takes it upon himself to prove it’s the real deal and urges me to try it out.

Quite the story isn’t it? I still don’t understand why marketing guys think that throwing money on shit will instantly make it a success. All they had to do was make sure the guy who MADE the damn product was involved in the marketing process, but they didn’t. That’s like the marketing department of BMW selling the M3 (a sports car) as a comfortable, family saloon. It doesn’t matter how much money is thrown into marketing, if the message goes out to the audience, it won’t sell. Period.

So after hearing about this, I wanted to see if Knockout Abs really did get a bad rep or not. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I have any sympathy for the product, it’s inventor (who is a nice dude btw) or the marketing company. This is business and business is harsh, there’s no way around that. But it made for an interesting backstory. So, on with the actual review.

First Impressions

In the box you get the Knockout Abs system and a DVD. Now I was told by the inventor that the DVD was made by the marketing douches we talked about earlier and as such, he said he did not back the workouts listed. Therefore, I’ve decided to leave the DVD out of the review. I mean, it’s nice that it’s there but he’s working on making a new one. So on to the hardware itself.

My overall impression is that the construction is pretty sturdy. It’s mostly metal and rubber with very few plastics (thank god). It’s a bit on the hefty side but folds down nicely and can be tucked away under the bed or table. With the system, you get these two resistance bands which attach to the bottom of the seat. Oh and the seat itself is extremely comfortable and has a decent finish.

The anchor points are height adjustable and the speedbag is, I’m glad to say, a high quality piece of equipment. It can be detached so you can do similar drills that fighters use when swinging a medicine ball against a wall (See pics below).

Real World Results

The obvious question is, does it work? Well duh. And it works because it’s simple and builds upon a concept that is tried and true – bringing a general sit-up/crunch seat to your home. Gyms have had them for years and the only difference is that they anchor your ankles instead of your knees. And as I said earlier, the seat is very comfortable so as a general ab bench, it gets and A+ from me.

But this is not just an ab bench, so let’s get into some of faults… or should I say “fault” as there really is only one. The resistance bands. Not only is their placement completely ridiculous for punching, but it can probably teach you bad technique. The problem lies in the angle. The angle of the resistance pushes your punches DOWN instead of back. If you read my review of the MASS SUIT, it had the exact same problem.

The solution to this would be dead simple – place the anchor points at the back of the seat, so the bands come around over your traps. And it would be nice if you could order this thing with a choice of resistance as the bands that I got had the tension of overcooked spaghetti strings. Hardly useful.

Still, the good news is that the speedbag is awesome. You can’t time your punches as fast as you can on a regular speed bag since this is spring based, but you can still get one helluva workout. You can also elbow the shit out of it and my personal favorite – practice slipping. I’m not sure if this was a design flaw or intentional but if you punch this thing hard while sitting upright, it can come back and smack you in the chin, which makes it perfect for punching and slipping (known as dodging, for those that don’t know boxing terminology). My favorite combo would be to punch hard, slip, sit-up and elbow. Then do the other side and repeat till I felt like puking. Excellent.

I even asked a buddy of mine, who actually trains with world class boxers to try it out. To my surprise, he had good things to say about it as well. Praise doesn’t come any higher than that.

Conclusion

So while the resistance bands aren’t exactly useful, Knockout Abs does what the inventor intended – gives you a decent ab workout while also providing a nice speedbag for home use. And it tucks away nicely under your bed to boot. So, should you buy one? Well that’s when the price comes into play. For $60, it’s a product that sits on the fence. If you have no equipment and no gym membership then there’s no point. This will not give you a full body workout. I mean it can, but you can only do so much with a specialized piece of equipment.

On the other hand, if you’re into combat sports and already have a training program in place and want to either take things to the next level or just want to challenge yourself differently, then I say go ahead. You won’t be disappointed with the product quality, I can say that much with confidence. I put this thing through hell and besides some odd scuffs and scratches, it’s performing just fine. I give it 3.9 stars outta 5 in it’s current state. However, if the price ever drops to $40, and you can get better bands, I’d easily give it a 4.5 and there would be no reason why every home gym shouldn’t have one for comfortable, weighted crunches.

Update: The inventor told me that he’s planning on ditching the bands as their inclusion wasn’t his call. The marketing exces threw it in there because they felt like it. Go figure. 

Pics

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© 2012, By FitJerk. FitJerk.com is a division of Flawless Fitness Media – All Rights Reserved – No part of this post is to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face. All images are copyright of their respective owners.

Only LOSERS have nothing to say or discuss. Put your thoughts, comments or general rants in the comment section below. FJ does not use censorship but obvious racial slurs and over-the-top stupidity will be deleted.

So I started out asking myself a very specific question, “What makes one trainer, more successful than another?” Because see, in my head I have a list of guys and gals whom I consider to be legit. As in, I wouldn’t think twice about recommending them to my own mother – and she’s one intense little lady. These people have achieved success in their own right, but obviously still have further dreams and aspirations so they must know some shit.

And as such, I decided to do a little round-table discussion on Twitter. I turned the title of this post into a question and blasted it out to them. What I have below are the top 3 skills that kept popping up the most frequently. It was actually almost eerie… as if I was seeing the replies from the same damn person, except with different display pictures. But you know what they say, sexy minds think alike. Oh, and who were these peeps? The list goes as follows…

Jon Goodman, Roger Lawson, Bojan Kostevski, Mark Young, Dick Talens, JC Deen and Jordan Syatt. I actually forgot to tag Jordan as the 140 character limit was running out and had to squeeze in my question. But being a smart ass that he is, Jordan managed to squeeze in his opinion. Now that’s initiative that I like.

So here we go, the first most important skill that you need to master…

1. Networking

I don’t recall any one of the guys NOT mentioning this, and there’s a good reason. In this day and age, trying to become successful by your lonesome is just plain suicide. There are teams, groups and even “cults” that are working together to push their own beliefs, training methods and agendas out there. So you think your lonely ass will stand a chance? I think not. Even the guys who seem like they’ve made it alone, secretly had some solid mentors which you don’t know about or a team of talented troops backing them up.

You just cannot become the shit, without knowing a bunch of other people that are the shit. Alwyn Crosgrove was recently answering questions on Facebook and stated that, “Going at it alone is a rookie mistake.” And he’s right. Think about every successful fitness entrepreneur in the last decade. Now think of everyone that person has associated or been affiliated with. Hmm, isn’t it odd that it’s almost always someone else who has achieved something equally big in the past?

Charles Poliquin is a firm believer that you are the average of the 5 closest people that surround you. So what does he do? Surrounds himself with the best of the best, and it shows. Ask any trainee or even fitness enthusiast who knows what they’re talking about, and Poliquin frequently is stated as one of the top 3 strength coaches in the world. Usually the top strength coach in the world.

Surround yourself with the best, to be the best. It’s just that simple.

Actually wait, no it’s not. You can’t just go bear hug Eric Cressey or latch on to Dave Tate’s leg and hope that through osmosis you’ll deadlift and bench press like these guys. First, because they’ll probably crush you. Second, because to be surrounded by the best, you have to have some redeeming qualities. The shallow truth is that people want to associated with others who will bring value into their lives, and who can blame them?

I have 24 hours in a day, a 1/4 of that time goes to sleep, another quarter to eat and get basic shit done… which leaves me with half. Then from that half I take away another quarter for mandatory things like working and training which leaves me with the final quarter. You really think I’m going to waste that little window of time hanging around a bunch of losers? Fuck no. When you’re the shit, your time is valuable and others who are the shit understand and respect that, so I feel more comfortable around them.

Get it? Got it? Good.

2. Marketing

Who is the most annoying trainer in all of human history? No, not Richard Simmons. I’m talking about someone who is even more annoying to listen to, and look at. That’s right! It’s Tony Horton… the tool from Bro90X that won’t shut up and thinks his jokes are funny. But why is he known as a “celebrity trainer” who has probably, at this point, banked millions? Because of sheer eyeballs. Or in simpler terms, marketing. A ridiculous chunk of the North American population knows about him and on some level, believe him when he vomits words like, “muscle confusion” or “bring it”.

To be clear, I’m not hating on his success. In fact I never hate on anyone’s success… the dude just rubs me the wrong way. But let’s get back to marketing – why the hell is it SO important? Because the more people know about you, the more options and ultimately, the more opportunities you have. But there is also another sneaky reason. Solid marketing can outright trump sheer technical knowledge and skill. How else do you explain the success of products such as the useless Ab Machines, Home Gyms, Supplements, Detox Kits etc.?

Marketing, that’s how.

You make sure you sound convincing enough to know what the hell it is you’re talking about, then multiply and spread that message everywhere. But that’s more of a traditional/brute force type marketing technique which big companies with big budgets use. And frankly, in 2011 it’s stupidly expensive. Social, intelligent marketing is where it’s at. Just look at the success of the “slow carb diet” from Tim Ferris or the huge following CrossFit CultFit has gotten, regardless of their retarded program design (heavy deadlifts before Powercleans? Uhm, wtf?!).

Also, consumers themselves are starting to wake up and ask questions, you just can’t get away with blanket statements anymore. Even if you do, and they aren’t true, someone will eventually find out. And it’s pretty easy to spread a message these days, so your nonsense won’t last long. As Gary Vaynerchuk says, “because of social media, ‘word of mouth’ is on steroids.”

In the end it doesn’t matter what type of marketing you focus on, you need to focus on it in one way shape or form. Oh and here’s an interesting fact – marketing works better when you team up with the right people, taking us back to point number one. Go figure.

3. Knowledge/Expertise

The one skill that should be at the top of the list is at the bottom, but such is the way that our world works. Actually it’s how humans work. If psychology and social proof weren’t such dominant factors in our decision making, then the world would work the way we think it should. Logical, bullshit-free and efficient. But that’s not going to happen anytime soon.

So while it’s at the bottom of this list, it’s still important. I mean if you’re asking for cash, and in return promise the person an increase in strength, then you better deliver that in a measureable way and in a respectable amount of time. It’s easy to get someone to hand over money when you make a promise, because people will pay for a solution when they are desperate enough. But in this day an age, it’s just as easy to lose that money if you don’t deliver.

Also, another good reason to stay up to date on all the latest happenings in this (or any other) field is because no one will network with you unless you’ve got some skills! I don’t associate with those that think cable curls are the way to get big bicpes, or that to lose weight you need to be doing bosu-ball squats or any of that nonsense.

Frankly, if you’re not spending at least a few hours a week either experimenting with new techniques, screwing around on PubMed, bothering trainers smarter than you, then you aren’t on the cutting edge. Your ass will be left behind in the dust. Being knowledgeable also helps you stay on top of trends, even if they’re bullshit so that you can use them to your advantage.

One of these was when BioTest released their Anaconda protocol. I knew about the in’s and outs of this stupidly expensive supplement stack and had already created my counter responses for it. Sure enough, I got those emails saying, “Hey FJ, I trust your opinion so what do you think about XYZ?”

Well, after a bit of copy/paste/small edits I sent out these counter points and in return snatched up a few clients. So there you have it, the top three skills that every fitness entrepreneur should master… brought to you by some of the masters themselves. What’s fascinating is how inter-connected these three skills are.

• You can have a shit load of knowledge, and be the cave nerd who knows everything about everything, but unless you have eyeballs, no one will care.
• You can accumulate a vast network of people but as soon as they find out that you’re a chump, they’ll disassociate with your ass.
• Or you can go at it alone and market the shit out of some shitty product but that’ll only last for so long.

I’m fairly convinced that long term awesomeness requires all three of these skills, so it’s time you started cultivating them. And no, I won’t promote your product. If it’s truly that good, I’ll find you.

Here’s to being the shit…

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© 2011 – 2012, By FitJerk. FitJerk.com is a division of Flawless Fitness Media – All Rights Reserved – No part of this post is to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face. All images are copyright of their respective owners.

Only LOSERS have nothing to say or discuss. Put your thoughts, comments or general rants in the comment section below. FJ does not use censorship but obvious racial slurs and over-the-top stupidity will be deleted.

In the pursuit to become strong, fast and athletic, we humans have come up with some pretty radical solutions to add resistance and make training increasingly challenging. The king of all resistance forces is and always will be gravity, or should I say, working against gravity. It’s in our DNA. It’s what has influenced the structure of our bodies and the way you look. If you’re butt-ugly, now is your chance to blame this universal force… along with your parents for good measure.

However, there is one big limitation to gravity – it works in only one direction. What a bitch, huh? This is where MASS SUIT comes into play. It attaches to your body and using resistance bands, provides resistance in almost every imaginable direction. When you put it on, you feel like you’re part of a physiological experiment… which is pretty cool. Let’s see what the company as the say.

Product Name: Mass Suit
Company: Juke Performance Inc.
MSRP: $299.95
Availability: Low (From company only as far as I can tell)

Official Description

The MASS suit is a unique patented design used by many professionals to provide resistance training to your entire body by using rubber resistance bands. The resistance starts as soon as you clip the bands while just standing before doing any type of athletic movement. The MASS Suit increases the resistance to your shoulders, arms, back, core, hip flex, quads, and hamstrings by attaching the MASS sleeves, straps and rubber cords to your body, elbows, hands, knees, and feet. This will create more speed, strength, power, stamina, fast twitch muscles and a more grounded stable balance while cutting calories and losing weight. By intensifying your training you will increase the levels of your red blood cells which will amplify your endurance and muscle speed.

Your breathing will also increase and that will create more oxygen intake and that too will help multiply red blood cells for increased stamina and power. The unique design of the MASS Suit is ideal for every type of athlete in every sport to intensify their training routine. The MASS Suit is adjustable which will able you to increase or decrease in resistance depending on how strong or fatigued you are. As your body adapts to your workouts and you need to pick up and push your conditioning, the MASS Suit will intensify your training up to 75% by adding more resistance to your punches, elbows, kicks, knees and core.

First Impressions

I usually get a lot of emails from companies asking me to test out their “revolutionary” new product. Well here’s a surprise – most of them aren’t. This though, had me more excited than a fat kid who discovered a stale oreo under his couch. I saw that champs such as Anderson Silva were using it to improve their game so surely, it must be something special because let’s face it, whether you’re a fight fan or not, The Spider Silva is the shit!

But it’s not just the MMA application which put a huge grin on my face. I saw that it could be used with other sports such as swimming, football, basketball etc. It’s customization options were practically limitless. Awesome.

Once it arrived, I was glad to see it came in a handy little gym bag. it’s a perfect fit and doesn’t look cheesy as hell unlike other branded products you might have to carry around. Inside you get a brochure, manual and some instructions – which you’ll need because putting this on for the first time is a pain in the ass. Partially because there are a few different variations of the suit and the instructions you get inside the box aren’t exactly the same as the product you receive. Either way, help was just an email away but I would like to see consistency across the board.

Once you manage to get on the basics such as the chest vest, elbow wrap, ankle boots and knee wraps, it’s time to attach the bands. Again, if it’s your first time then I would highly recommend some third party assistance since once you start piling on the resistance, you’ll move like you walked out of the special needs gym class.

It feels… different. Almost every action you take requires wayyy more effort than you would regularly want to put in. This includes, walking, sitting, grabbing, reaching etc. The website claims you can easily conceal this under clothing and burn extra calories doing normal daily activities. Uh, bullshit. The only way you’re going to conceal this is if the clothes you buy are twice your normal size and more baggy than a thugged out wankster.

Real World Results

I’m going to start off with disappointments and possible suggestions to anyone listening from the company since that’s how I like to roll. First up, this “once size fits all” thing is stupid. I realized that anyone at 140lbs or less (which is me during summer time) is in for a watered down experience. When you “suit up”, the straps are all maxed out and sticking out, which makes you look like you’re peeling black Velcro skin from every angle. Then there’s the problem of resistance. See, Mass Suit relies on bands which provide a challenge when stretched. So the resistance my training partner felt (who is taller and weighs about 30lbs more) was much higher than the resistance I felt.

So I almost felt cheated since I would be paying to make my training more challenging, but I’d end up feeling 2/3 of the resistance a man slightly taller than me would feel. Uncool. I suggest that the Mass Suit come in two sizes, small and large. No need for medium since the straps are adjustable and should easily cover that range of people.

Next is the issue of comfort. If you’re planning on suiting up with just a light T-shirt and shorts, I’d think twice because after just a 15 minute kickboxing session, my training partner had marks left over from the plastic part of the straps (see pic below). This isn’t a huge deal at first, but if you’re planning on using this suit 3 or even 4 times a week, expect to get rashes. Of course, this can all be mitigated by wearing long sleeves and pants. I found that the Under Armour type of material is an excellent option to use with Mass Suit. It also makes you look incredibly sexy.

Other than those two shortcomings, it’s pretty much uphill from there. You can ditch the elbow and the handles for resistance for sports that just need your lower body such as soccer, basketball etc. Or you can attach everything and go full out. The only thing I would say is that when doing kickboxing (which is a huge push for this product) the angle of resistance that you get from the handles isn’t optimal. It attaches to your hips, which means it pulls your hands DOWN. The force vector of a punch is pretty much perpendicular to the body, therefore the resistance should be in the complete opposite direction (attached to the shoulders). For this reason, I don’t recommend you train punches with the handles, just leave the elbow bands attach and that’s good enough.

When it comes to KICKS however, it’s all aces. Everything is in the right spot to provide some serious challenge to your front, round and side kicks. I’ve thrown together a video below where I’m helping my trainer partner perfect the explosiveness of his kicks. As you’ll probably notice, he looks a little awkward doing them since it was his first time with the Mass Suit. After some practice though, he was kicking almost as fast as he used to, and when the suit came off, we found some untapped power coming from his legs. His hands did pretty well too.

Besides combat sports, I tried this with soccer and gymnastics. For soccer you can just leave the upper body bands to the side and get a serious workout running around with the knee and ankle bands. Since my bike had a flat ass tire, I couldn’t really test it thoroughly but I can definitely see it as a useful tool for the tools that love biking in their tight pieces of clothing. Couple that up with some uphill pedaling and you’ve got yourself a challenge, my friend.

Then there is gymnastics. When it comes to tumbling and floor skills, it’s only useful some of the time because there are certain tricks that involve your body to contract instead of expand making the bands useless.  But for events such as rings, parallel bars and vault I can see it come in handy since you need to hit the handstand position quite often, and the Mass Suit is fucking awesome for handstands. I was going to throw it on some of the high level male gymnasts that train at my gym but these guys just weren’t big enough for it to be of any use. Oh well.

And obviously, besides using the suit for sport-specific training, you can use the Mass Suit during your normal gym session as well. It’ll add some extra pain to your squats, deadlifts, bench presses, overhead presses etc. One of my favourites with the Mass Suit was the seated dumbbell clean and press. Shit was tough as hell and the bands helped me get past my plateau and add 10lbs to each side in a few weeks. I was more explosive too… can’t complain with those results.

Conclusion

So the Mass Suit is pretty effective most of the time, but is for you? Well if you’re a smaller person, do recreational sports and have no money then no, it ain’t. You’re better off spending the 300 bones on a year’s worth of gym membership fees and training hard against gravity. However, for the serious athlete that has done everything under the sun and needs the extra edge to get ahead, I would say it’s a pretty hefty but worthwhile investment. I’m talking college/NFL level football players, college/NBA level basketball players, professional fighters, national/international level soccer players, competitive Olympic weightlifters etc.

Overall I was quite impressed with the Mass Suit and will give it 4/5 stars. It works great and I love the innovation but it’s got some kinks to work out such as comfort, proper sizing and that price could use a drop as well. I’m going to give it my…

…I haven’t given these out in a while but I figured the Mass Suit is pretty deserving. If you’re a serious athlete, I’d give this piece of equipment a try. It’ll take a few tries to get used to but once you do, it’ll serve you well.

- FitJerk

Pictures

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© 2011 – 2012, By FitJerk. FitJerk.com is a division of Flawless Fitness Media – All Rights Reserved – No part of this post is to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face. All images are copyright of their respective owners.

Only LOSERS have nothing to say or discuss. Put your thoughts, comments or general rants in the comment section below. FJ does not use censorship but obvious racial slurs and over-the-top stupidity will be deleted.

What I have below is a little collaboration post between me and an obnoxiously nice lady named Carol. You all know the deal with guest posts… I rarely do them. But her title grabbed my behind and wouldn’t let go, so I figured, “ why not work with this one?” And since I’m not a HUGE biker, her expertise was needed anyway.

With the warm months coming to a close, you’re likely looking for ways to get outside and get moving before the cold winds of winter set in and resign you to working out indoors, running like a human hamster on a treadmill or elliptical. To that end, dusting off your old ten-speed or mountain bike might just provide the outdoor exercise option you’re looking for. However, if you haven’t ridden in years, you might be a little worried about hopping on your two-wheeled fun-machine and looking like a complete tool.

Luckily, it’s just like riding a bike – it IS riding a bike! Just stick to the simple guidelines below when you pedal around the world, and you’ll be just fine.

1. Know the fuckin’ law!

Every city has ordinances concerning the riding of bicycles, including where they are allowed to move about. Some cities don’t mind if you ride on the sidewalk while other expressly prohibit the action. If your streets have bike lanes, chances are good that you’re supposed to use them, and you’ll generally be expected to go with the flow of traffic (stopping with cars instead of splitting lanes, following signals and signs, etc.).

Following the rules of the road ensures that you won’t be the idiot on a bike who gets issued a ticket, or gets run over. Remember that while on a bike, you cannot assume shit. Also, you have physics working against you. Don’t think that the dude next to you in his Ram pickup will see that you need to make a left turn, and will slow down to gently let you in like your drunk date on prom night. It’s your job to make sure everyone sees you. We go into more detail in our next point…

2. Exercise caution

When you are contending with traffic, you have to be extra careful to avoid accidents (since the risks of injury are much higher for you than the drivers around you). You should always go with the flow of traffic and if you simply don’t feel safe (due to cars parked or driving in the bike lane), just hop over to the sidewalk and wait for walk signals to cross intersections. You may scare the shit out of the old lady on the walker or the little kid trying to eat his ice cream, but so what? Ice cream can be replaced and so can the hips of old ladies. I kid, don’t mess with the elderly… that’s just mean. It’s gona be you one day, unless you decide to live fast and die pretty like me.

You should also utilize hand signals; left arm extended straight out for a left turn, left arm up with elbow bent at a 90-degree angle for right turn, and left arm down with elbow bent at a 90-degree angle for slowing and stopping. Oh and don’t forget the middle finger for when you get cut off. Just make sure that when attempting to flip the bird, you are surrounded by others so that if the dude in a car DOES attempt to run you over, he’ll take down 3 others with you. This gives you leverage in court and can probably set you financially free for life. Maybe.

3. Wear protective padding and other safe shit

In addition to proceeding cautiously when in traffic, you should always wear protective gear. I mean let’s face it, cars have air bags, strippers have fun bags, and all you have is your squishy brain. This means, at the very least, wearing a helmet to protect your head. Should you suffer an accident, this will help to prevent skull fracture and brain trauma that would likely end your life… just in case you weren’t aware of what would happen.

You may also want to consider wearing knee and elbow pads, gloves, and other protective garments till you look like a hockey goaltender. Better safe than sorry, yo! Plus, I never trust those mo’fuckin Mack trucks anyway. Is it a coincidence the the grill of these trucks are at the perfect height to strike an average person directly in the head? Probably not; if you’re gona get hit by a Mack, chances are you’re either gonna be a vegetable or paralyzed for the rest of your life. It’s much better to just end your lights right then and there. Less burden on the health care system, on your family and the world is just a better place without  you. I kid, you’re an important member of society… stop crying, you’re making me look bad.

4. Dress right

If you don’t want to look foolish on your bike, then skip clothing that simply isn’t practical. This includes skirts, dresses, and baggy pants that could become caught in your tires or chain, as well as open-toes shoes like flip-flops or high heels.

Actually on second thought, if you’re a female and have a really nice bottom, skirts are a GO. Just make sure it’s a windy day so that you get the benefit of a nice breeze while the world benefits from the visual bliss of your behind. As for men, this does NOT give you an excuse to wear a kilt!

You should also dress for the weather so that you don’t burn in the hot sun or get drenched in a downpour. Finally, if you get into the sport of cycling you might want to wear clothing suited to the endeavour, such as garments specially designed to wick away moisture and prevent chafing.

5. Don’t try to impress your friends – Unless they’re the opposite sex

One of the quickest ways to look like a total idiot on your bike is to do stunts to impress your friends. It’s not like you have the protection of motorbike insurance should you fall flat on your face (which is likely to happen when you’re goofing off). So dress appropriately, stay safe, and let your friends act stupid if they want to. Nobody will be laughing when someone gets carted off to the ER in an ambulance – except FJ, of course.

Truth be told bike stunts ARE cool as hell, but just get proper instruction from a pro that knows what he or she is doing. People think that when you’re at a pool party, doing flips is stupid. And it is, unless you KNOW how to do them. Being in gymnastics for too many years, I flip around all the damn time… but I know what I’m doing. Some of the tricks that have a relatively LOW risk but have a high “wow” factor on a bike are: bunny hops, J-hops and wheelies.

Happy pedaling.

This post was a collaboration between FitJerk and Carol Montrose, who is a writer for BikeInsurance.net. In her spare time she enjoys reading and she is currently writing a book on the joys of freelancing. For those that are clueless or just unaware, the contents of this post is meant to be used for entertainment purposes only. You and only you are responsible for any injuries you may encounter while on or off a bike.

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© 2011 – 2012, By FitJerk. FitJerk.com is a division of Flawless Fitness Media – All Rights Reserved – No part of this post is to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face. All images are copyright of their respective owners.

Only LOSERS have nothing to say or discuss. Put your thoughts, comments or general rants in the comment section below. FJ does not use censorship but obvious racial slurs and over-the-top stupidity will be deleted.

But there are two problems with Fitocracy. First, it’s in an exclusive beta stage right now, which means an average chump such as yourself can’t just walk into the party without an invite. Two, not too many people know how to use the damn thing. Not that it’s rocket science, but people need a visual guide. If only there was someone who could step up to the challenge and deal with these issues.

Well good news! As your personal ass kicker and saviour, I have not only created the most comprehensive flowchart that shows you how to use Fitocracy, but you’ll score an exclusive invite because the mere fact that you’re reading this has elevated your status from loser to average Joe (or Julie). The image below is a very zoomed-out version of the flowchart, so click on it to see the full thing. The invite link will be located on the right hand side.

The Flowchart

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© 2011, By FitJerk. FitJerk.com is a division of Flawless Fitness Media – All Rights Reserved – No part of this post is to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face. All images are copyright of their respective owners.

Only LOSERS have nothing to say or discuss. Put your thoughts, comments or general rants in the comment section below. FJ does not use censorship but obvious racial slurs and over-the-top stupidity will be deleted.

Machines have a well deserved, shitty reputation from many top strength coaches and personal trainers who generally know what it is they are doing. Personally, I haven’t bothered to touch 80% of the mechanical equipment in my gym. When friends ask me to show them how X, Y, Z machine works, my general response is “Pfft, I don’t f*cking know”

Apparently, because I train people I’m supposed to know how every new piece of mechanical contraption works. Well I don’t, because I don’t have time for that shit. Mainly because I’m focusing on more important things such as perfecting my PowerCleans and Deadlift technique.

Having said all of that, there is still a place for machines in your routine. Yes, it’s true… you can use pre-determined movement patterns to see results. But only if you follow the hierarchy of training. You see, your body works as an entire unit, so you need to train it as such. I still don’t know of a single physical task in life where you need to specifically isolate a muscle group.

But when you train it as a unit, there will come a time when smaller stabilizer muscle groups (such anterior and medial deltoids) will start to fatigue and give out well before the primary ones that you are trying to work (such as pectorals). This is where machines can come into play – because they isolate a specific muscle group which can be worked to exhaustion without affecting the smaller stabilizers. Below are four categories of exercises, listed in order, that will give you maximum results in the shortest amount of time. And by results I mean muscle, strength and fat loss… which happen to the 3 factors of sexiness.

The Hierarchy Of Training

1. Instable + Heavy Load (IH)

An IH exercise is any big compound movement which can be heavily loaded with free weights. So Deadlifts, Squats, Benchpress, PowerCleans, Overhead Press, Snatch, Overhead Squat etc. are all great examples. I refer to it as “instable” because your stabilizers will have to fire and their recruitment will play a huge role in the success of the lift. NOT because you’ll be using stupid pieces of equipment such as the Bosu ball and other nonsense. The Bosu stuff is something I like to refer to as EI (Extreme Instability) exercises, which should be used only for physio/rehab purposes as far as I’m concerned.

2. Instable + Light Load (IL)

An IL exercise is any compound movement that cannot be loaded as heavily as an IH. So DB Bench Press, DB Pullover, Goblet Squat, Kettlebell Swings etc. Again, it’s referred to as “instable” because your stabilizers will need to fire but the load that you’ll be able to manage will not be nearly as high as an IH exercise. If you’ve ever compared your maximum lift in a regular BB Bench Press to the DB Bench Press then you know exactly what I’m talking about. A guy with a solid 315lbs press will have a challenging time with 100lbs DB’s in each hand.

3. Stable + Free Load (SF)

A SF exercise is any pre-determined movement/isolation exercise which can be loaded with free weights. So BB curls, Preacher Curls, DB Kickbacks, DB Shoulder fly etc. It is referred to as “stable” because while there is a protagonist/antagonist situation happening, the recruitment of stabilizers is very low, making the exercise itself already very stable in nature.

4. Stable + Load (SL)

And finally, we get to SL, which is basically anything to do with machines. So a machine preacher curl, quad extensions, ab curl nonsense, leg press, pec deck, Smith Machine bullshits etc. There is barely anyprotagonist/antagonist involvement and no recruitment of stabilizer muscles whatsoever. The primary reason that I, or any other strong, logical and good looking trainer doesn’t bother using machines is because by the time we go through IH, IL and SF exercises, we’ve worked hard enough to not bother with SL any nonsense.

But what do you see most idiots do? They walk into the gym and jump right on the machines faster than Charlie Sheen on a hooker. 95% of the time, if you have enough energy left to do SL exercises at the end of your routine, you probably didn’t work hard enough (with minor exceptions such as the leg press).

So which group of individuals make up this 5%? Bodybuilders, and advanced trainees looking to put on muscle. I usually prescribe a SL exercise when the primary goal is hypertrophy VIA sheer volume. Some people have muscle groups that just so fucking stubborn that they will refuse to grow past a certain point unless you completely demolish them. Let’s say that your man boobs, err… I mean chest is a particular problem area. Here’s a simple order of exercises you can follow:

5×5 BB BenchPress

4×8 DB BenchPress

3×8 Weighted Dips

3×8 DB Flys

2×15 Machine Chest Flys

If that doesn’t give you a shirt-ripping chest then either you’re lifting pussy weights or aren’t eating enough. Point Blank Period.

I never thought I’d be recommending machines and their use in a person’s routine but here we are. The simple fact of the matter is that since most gyms these days are 80% filled will machines, we need to find a decent use for them at some point in our training. As long as their presence doesn’t creep into my Dumbbells, Barbells and Squat Rack area I won’t bitch too much.

Now go kick some machine ass, you panzy.

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© 2011 – 2012, By FitJerk. FitJerk.com is a division of Flawless Fitness Media – All Rights Reserved – No part of this post is to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face. All images are copyright of their respective owners.

Only LOSERS have nothing to say or discuss. Put your thoughts, comments or general rants in the comment section below. FJ does not use censorship but obvious racial slurs and over-the-top stupidity will be deleted.