Whether you’re male or female (I assume mostly male), the fact that you’re reading this means you’re having a hard time putting on weight. And the only reason you’re having trouble with that, is because you’re not eating enough, plain and simple.

No, don’t tell me you’ve tried eating “lots of food”. It was obviously not enough.  And it’s also obvious that your sense of food quantity is so horribly inaccurate, it makes a the weatherman on channel 5 news seem as if he has psychic powers.

And no, don’t tell me you’ve “tried every supplement under the sun,” because that’s like telling me you’ve banged every prostitute in your city corner and still haven’t managed to find true love. You’re going about this the wrong way.

So if the answer is that you’re not eating enough, the next thing you need to ask yourself is “Why?”

The answer is probably because you physically can’t. Over the years of eating like a bulimic chicken on a diet, you’ve managed to train your body to eat in portion sizes that are smaller than the junk in your trunk. In fact, those two things are probably related somehow, but I’m too lazy to go on PubMed and spend half an hour searching for references.

But fear not you mass challenged individual… because FJ has the solution. (By the way, if you’re a female, then that prostitute metaphor is starting to sound extremely hot right about now. Call me. Or poke me on facebook)

The first thing you need to do is find your base caloric requirements (technically known as BMR). In stupidly simple terms, figure out how many calories a day you need to consume to keep yourself at your current weight without too many fluctuations. You can use the Harris-Benedict formula to get a rough idea but you’ll have to play around with it for a week or two before you land on the answer. The process goes like so:

• Weigh yourself at the start of the week
• Use equation to spit out number
• Eat that many calories for the entire week. Keep workouts constant (if it’s 3 days a week, do no more)
• Weigh yourself at the end of week. If you went up, decrease calories by 200-300/day and try again. If you dropped weight, increase by 500/day and try again
• Rise & Repeat till you find a caloric # which keeps you at a constant weight

Now that you have your base caloric number, add 1000 to this amount and put it aside. This is the amount of food you’ll need to consume PER day to gain some real weight, and we’ll call it your Gainer Caloric Requirement (GCR). This is where my advice stops for most individuals because they get to it. But you are not normal, you cannot eat enough heavy meals to meet such guidelines so we are going to…

Re-Program Your Body To Eat Big

First step is to figure out your Base Intake Threshold (BIT). I made that term up, which means it should now be part of your lexicon. Anyways, finding out your BIT is a fun process because what you do is stuff your face like a fat kid who found a Burger King after getting out of solitary confinement. Then once you can eat no more, you calculate how many calories you took in.

Once you have your BIT, you are now going to eat that amount every meal plus an additional 100-200 liquid calories for the next two weeks. I highly recommend those extra calories come from a protein shake. But do not exceed the GCR value you came up with above. These two numbers will also give you the number of meals to eat on a daily basis.

So for example, let’s say your GCR is 3000 calories.

And your BIT happened to be 800 calories, on which you must add 200 liquid calories. You now have 1000.

GCR / New BIT value = Meals Per Day (3000/1000 = 3)

Get it? Good.

After about 1-2 weeks of adding an additional 200 liquid calories to your BIT, you will switch them to solid calories. So following the example above, you’ll still be taking in 1000, but the extra 200 now will come from say, a chicken breast and a small side… or whatever else you want to throw in your mouth. Once you get used to the 200 calories, add 100 more and repeat the process till you are satisfied with the amount of calories you can devourer in one sitting.

If you’ve never tried to physically expand your eating capabilities, then let me enlighten you on some facts from personal experience:

• It absolutely CAN be done, so don’t knock it till you try it. Or I’ll knock you
• It will NOT be fun for the first week, so get used to being uncomfortably full
• This process can be continued or repeated if you want to increase  your capacity again a few months or years down the road
• At some point, you will reach the limits of how much your stomach can take. It’s like the genetic potential of weight lifting; when you’re a wimpy noob, you can add 5lbs to your bench every week, but eventually even a gain of 2.5lbs is a bitch, and takes months of training.

How/Why Does My Technique Work?

I’ve been honing this method for a while. If you recall in my old, 6 reasons to eat 6 meals a day article, one of the primary reasons I used to eat 6 times/day is because of my eating limitations. I can now eat about 500 extra calories per meal then I was used to before so meal frequency is a non-issue (as it should be for most). I got the idea from studying professional power eaters (yes, there are such people). These guys are flown around the world to take part in eating challenges, and you won’t believe your fucking eyes how much food then can manage to eat. It defies belief. You might even puke thinking about it.

But then I found out one of their main secrets – stomach expansion. One of the best power eaters, known as furiouspete can eat a pound of butter in about 5  minutes. I bet his asshole is so lubricated that gay men everywhere have found a new alternative to Astroglide. But that’s just a guess, see video below for proof and simultaneous disgust of this butter eating feat…

How does he do it? Well for one, he believes he has a little “malfunction” where the signal which tells the brain that you’re full is either weak or doesn’t exist (can’t remember the quote, bite me). While we can’t emulate his defectively awesome brain, what we can emulate is the fact that he drinks like 10-15L of water before the night of a competition to expand his stomach like an oversized water balloon. Then in the morning, after aiding the fire department extinguish flames with his never-ending piss, he is ready to fill that space with whatever amount of food is presented to him.

I don’t see why they use airplanes to drop food rations in third world countries for the needy. Just get Pete to eat a shit load of rice, then stand at the edge of the loading dock and start puking it out, as if it were crop dusting season. The bonus is that the rice will be pre-digested. What? Birds do it, it’s natural… so of course it’ll be good for them, duh!

Back to logic. So in essence, when you use my technique and add the 200 extra liquid calories after you feel extremely full, you are slowly expanding your stomach. But liquid is one sneaky bitch; it has a habit of finding space where there seems to be none, which is why we switch to solid calories later. After weeks of doing this, you’re physical eating capacity will be increased and viola – no more bitching about not being able to gain weight.

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© 2011, By FitJerk. FitJerk.com is a division of Flawless Fitness Media – All Rights Reserved – No part of this post is to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face. All images are copyright of their respective owners.

Only LOSERS have nothing to say or discuss. Put your thoughts, comments or general rants in the comment section below. FJ does not use censorship but obvious racial slurs and over-the-top stupidity will be deleted.

One thing that sucks about the fitness industry is that most trainers, or “preachers” lack a sense of humour and literally bore me to tears. If you read their stupid blogs and websites, you almost get this sense that if you asked them to have fun… they’d give you a confused look. “Hmm… ‘fun’, I think I might have to Google that.”

However, I have found a man who’s core philosophy revolves around fun. He ditches the usual, dull and boring ways that are known to be oh so ubiquitous throughout the fitness community and instead, brings almost a stand-up-comedy level of hilarity to our world of barbells and dumbbells. It’s a rare gift, and I had a chance to interview him. Below is a completely uncensored chat log of what went on when FJ met Roger Lawson. I shouldn’t even call this an interview since I left nothing out. You get the entire conversation from beginning to end.

What Was Discussed?

We talk about women, fitness, life, sexification, Serina William’s ass, sex, BROtein, being a Mcdonald’s whore, and much, much more. So grab something to drink and settle in, because this may just be the funniest shit you’ll read all year… nay, in your lifetime.

Warning: If you’re easily offended, don’t have a sense of humour or you look like straight-edge nerd that doesn’t appreciate entertainment value beautifully mixed with great content, then this interview isn’t for you.

The Pre Interview

me: Roger, what up dude

Roger: Yo man.

Just getting home from picking up my lady from work

Sitting here like a sloth in all this heat

me: Ah, now you know what it’s like to stand next to me

Roger: That explains the random boner! I thought it was from me eating that yohimbe tree or something

me: you mean, BROner?

Roger: Hahaha, bro just fits into any word naturally. BROgina

me: That’s a tranny

Roger: BROlosopher

me: BROcologist

Roger: BROtein

me: Oh, I had some a few hours ago. It had time and slow release technology…

Roger: I hear they shrink midgets and put them into the protein to slow down digestion

Because we all know that midgets are fat, and fat slows it all down!

me: Hah, It was steak wrapped in bacon.

Roger: God damn you, that’s my only mortal weakness… Steak wrapped in bacon

The only thing greater is steak wrapped bacon woman. Preferably one with some color on her

me: I have yet to wrap my woman in bacon… she seems highly contempt with sausage at the moment

Roger: HIYOOOOOOO!

me: HIYOO!! *BROFIST*

Roger: Bwahahaha! *BROFIST*

If you’re free, do you wanna rock this interview an hour early?

me: For sure, as soon as you’re done with your woman chauffeur duties, send me a msg on Gchat. In the mean time, I’m going to grab a glass of fine scotch and prep some probing questions while you melt.

Roger: Awwww hell yeah. I’m ready when you are, I got back about 20min ago and am all settled in now

I’ll give you a few moments of BROtime though

me: You are one kind, dark man. You can be my shadow any day of the week.

Roger: Hahahaha. Best thing I’ve heard all day

me: Alright let me grab my glass of golden deliciousness (not pee) and i’ll be back in a few…

The Beginning Of Awesome

me: So first of all, thanks for not being a complete stiff bag… too many “fitness gurus” sound like anally retarded textbooks. They have no personality to them, but yours shines through your writing. I’m assuming because you’re outgoing in person?

Roger: Thank you kindly, homie. That honestly is one of the best compliments that someone could ever give me. I’d definitely say that I’m pretty outgoing in person – I get my energy from people. If one of the requirements for being a fitness professional was that I had to be supremely technical, dull sounding and void of all personality and fun, then I’d rather drink toilet water

me: Agreed. Though personally I’d rather be a lawyer… at least I get to bank some cash. And maybe some feisty female inmates. (BTW, I’ll be combing through this interview and give it a good edit, so don’t worry about spelling and other inferior aspects of writing. I’ll understand your ramblings. My readers will too.)

Roger: Good, because my native language is Chinese and I can’t spell for shit

me: Yeah I could tell by your light complexion and squinty eyes.

Roger: And large penis. DO NOT forget that.

me: HAHA, how could I? The motherfucker nudged me while I was 5 feet away, trying to get my latté

Roger: You know, I actually like the idea of possibly encountering a woman that can squat my max as a warm up in jail. I’m sure her vagina would do my penis’ taxes hahaha

me: Haha yeah, something kinky about it right? I duno, real men understand. Hipsters wont

Roger: Wurd! But yeah man, I just love people. Starting this blog has allowed me to meet so many cool people that I otherwise would’ve never met

me: Yeah I was going to ask you, you’ve been blogging for a while now, so for those that are thinking about starting a fitness blog, what are the 3-5 most important things you could tell them to do?

Roger: I started in September 09, blogged kinda-sorta frequently in the beginning. Then fell off hard in January/Feb . I had no idea what I was doing and felt that my voice was just blending in to the already saturated blogosphere, and I didn’t like that AT ALL

So I really stopped blogging at that point to figure out what I really wanted to do, what my prime objective was, and then I came back with a vengeance in September 2010 and haven’t looked back since

me: I like it. And what was your prime objective?

Roger: To deliver top notch fitness info in an informative and humorous way. If I can’t make you smile or girly giggle at some point during what I right, I don’t want to write it.

And trust me, Even the manliest man has girly giggled at my content. No penis jokes please.

me: Shut up, I’ll never admit such things. I think that’s the difference between you and I – you can actually write comedy. Mine just turns into comedy, more like “har-har-har.”  I can’t consciously write funny shit… it will turn out to be verbal baby puke. It has to come out organically.

Roger: Man, let me tell ya, If I couldn’t do what I’m doing now, I would make a serious run at stand up. I’d probably suck for a long time, but I know that eventually I’d come out on top

me: You would. I’d consider that as a side career if I were you. More appealing than toilet water drinking… though that has its own benefits – like hanging out with REAL DAWGS!

Roger: BWAHAHAHA! I might have to bring you on stage with me

me: Only if we can wear Spartan gear and kick hecklers off stage. Literally.

Roger: God damn, that would be fantastic. Right into a well

me: “This IS COMEDDYYY!!” *FRONT KICK* – Come to think of it, that would be fucking hilarious.

Roger: We need to get a patent on some bullet time technology. Stuff like that is only cool in slow motion

me: That’s true. ORRR we can just get everyone drunk. It’ll look like bullet time to them, and its cheaper on our wallets.

Roger: Sweet Jesus, you should be a business consultant, For Google.

me: I do pride myself in being a businessman.

So now here’s a question I wanted to throw your way. And I’m repeating verbatim from some dude, “What the fuck is sexification?” I think this person is looking for an official definition, since that’s what you’re all about. Can you help out this tool-bucket please?

Roger: Well first of all, I’d like to thank you personally for cutting through the jibba jabbah and getting right into the question. A person with more unscrupulous morals would have easily turned such a succinct question into an epic novel

me: Indeed, good sir.

Roger: But back to the question at hand. In my opinion, which is the only one that matters since I reckon I came up with the word, Sexification, while it encompasses looking how you want to look, is about so much more. Think back to a time when you’ve been in the presence of a really awesome person – what was it about them that drew you in?

me: her fantastic ass

Roger: Sure, if they’re a female then having all the right accessories and looking like what love feels like definitely helps, but odds are it was more than that too – Speaking of, we need to side track and talk about Serena Williams at some point

me: Done

Roger: That ass gives hope to the future

me: But I see what you’re getting at. Charisma, and mainly confidence when you DO look sexy as fuck

Roger: Yes. Sexification is really all about being WHO YOU ARE without feeling bad about it or thinking you have to compromise on it

me: I’d say the sexiness of your vibe is directly proportional to the level of awesomeness of your body

Roger: Oh fo sho. I haven’t met a person who doesn’t want to look better. Now whether they’re willing to work towards it is another subject entirely, but everyone does. And if they say that they don’t, they’re lying and I’ll engage them in Mortal Kombat.

Like, if you’re a grown man who loves collecting pogs, while I’m not into it, that’s Sexification to me. Collect the SHIT out of those pogs! Aim to be the best at it if that’s what you want.

me: So could Sexification be a “sexier” replacement for the word “passion”?

Roger: I’d be hesitant to do so, only because passion isn’t enough, action is necessary.

Sexification is about passion and action. Love what you do, do what you love. Very little compromise.

me: Perfect, I think you need T-shirts. I’d wear one. Hell… I’d sweat in one then make my lady friends wear them. Because wet t-shirts hugging the curvature of boobs is definitely sexy.

Roger: That just increases the Sexification of everyone involved, and I’m ok with that.

me: I look forward to your threaded merchandise. Now, let’s move on to some training aspects. First up, besides the big 3 lifts, which are your other personal favourites and why?

Roger: I’m sure that this will net me a major loss in man points, but I hate deadlifting! And benching too. So I guess I’m left with the Big “1”. Aside from squatting though, I love chin ups, push ups, and rowing

Shit, dips too

me: First time I heard of a man hating the bench… that’s weird. But then again, you aren’t exactly normal. But loving dips definitely redeems you some of the brownie points you lost for not liking the bench. Now here’s a question from Twitter… “What do you think is the sexiest feature on a woman?”

Roger: I will not be deterred while talking about my love exercises! I actually love 45 degree back extensions and band hip thrusts most these days. It ties into my long term goal, but we can talk about that later on

As for the question, I’m gonna go with a nice pair of butt cheeks, FJ

me: my man!

Roger: I’ve seen big pairs of boobs, and while they’re a nice novelty, they’re largely overrated. Plus boobs can be too big. I’ve NEVER seen an ass too big on a woman who isn’t obese.

me: Indeed. Did you read my interview with this girl, Lily Frei? Squatted 185lbs for 10, full ROM. No quarter squat BS and she has quite the ass to show for it.

Roger: I didn’t get past the video of her squatting. She kind of derailed my entire day. I almost lost my job because of her.

So tell her thank you

me: I’m sure she appreciates your kind words. I’ll be sure to pass this along. But yeah, if only all women started squatting, the world would be a better place. So let’s go to Serena William’s ass for a second. Here’s your chance to confess your love to it without your woman finding out. And even if she does, who cares? You’re on FJ’s turf baby!

Roger: I’m a firm believer that all statements made regarding Serena William’s ass cannot be used against any man by any woman anywhere at any time

me: I now deem you Roger Lawyer Lawson the 2nd

Roger: I mean…JUST LOOK AT IT FJ!

She could turn a dress into a thong

me: oh my…so let’s continue this interview next week yeah?

Roger: She has a rare ass, the kind of ass that tears pants. One minute next to her ass is the equivalent of 20 hours of real time. I’m sure Einstein wrote about this somewhere in one of his books

me: and I’m sure he would be rather proud of the use of his theory right now

Roger: Lets just say I’d drink her bathwater… Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way

me: Now that I know what to get you for Xmas *cough* poster *cough* haha let me ask you a “practical” question. Because people reading this also expect “useful advice,” or whatever.

Roger: If they can’t get something useful out of Serena’s cheeks, then their life is over.

me: Amen! So say I’m weak, pathetic, have no equipment, too poor for a gym, my girlfriend left me for FJ, my mom disowned me, and I’m a failure at life… BUT I still want to get in shape. How would you sexify me?

Roger: That person is a prime candidate for Sexification – where there is a will, there is a Smith

…Err there is a way.

Odds are this person is bigger than average, so the good thing is that any progressive resistance will increase their Sexifications, but without equipment they have several options…

1) Bodyweight training: I’m a big fan of this type of training as you can pretty much do it anywhere. You have your squats. People usually stop with bodyweight squats and pistol when they’re talking about these, but there is a big ol’ gap in the middle that’s missing. Buy some gangster book bags which you can load up with weights and use that as resistance.

me: It’s true, my anatomy book can be used as an Olympic bumper plate.

If only it had a hole

Roger: Hip thrusts will put a hole into that one for sure

me: HIYOOO! It’s because you have that long Asian penis

Roger: Be careful before I impregnate you via the internet. You also have your chin ups. If you look hard enough, you can always find a place to do them from.

me: That’s what I said about strippers, but no one believes me.

Roger: And that will be their downfall! But if you do pull-ups at random spots then sure, some people may think you look stupid. Especially if you do them from a tree, but that’s ok. Haters gonna hate.

Also, If said person is pretty poor, they can build some of their own equipment. PVC pipes for dips etc.

me: True say, so bodyweight training is the go-to answer for this guy. And homebuilt equipment is genius. What frequency would you prescribe?

Roger: I’d go with full body sessions 3-4x a week.

We’re talking about a beginner here, so the stress that they place on their body isn’t going to be that great anyway, so recovery isn’t going to be compromised as long as they aren’t eating like a child.

me: Which brings me to my next point. This dork obviously cannot afford fine dining… so what would you tell him to do?

Roger: The best thing about Sexification is that anyone can achieve it as long as they’re committed to action – buying in bulk is a fine starting place. Grocery stores often discount meat a few days before they go “bad” and as long this guy buys and cooks them up ASAP, he’ll be good to go.

His nutrition will probably be pretty boring too, but it’ll get the job done: chicken breasts/thighs (buy thighs with skin on them and remove the skin yourself as that’s a cheaper option usually)

Also don’t forget the BIG ASS industrial sized bags of rice for like $10. Oh and eggs. Eggs are dope, cheap, and taste worlds better than egg-whites. I’m convinced that a puppy gets kidnapped every time someone throws away a yolk.

Do it for the puppies, people.

me: Haha, nice. Alan Aragon has a similar saying, what is it? “Nature cringes every time a yolk hits the wastebasket?”

and Charles Poliquin is famous for saying “Egg whites are for dorks.” Or at least I think that was him… I’m on my 3rd glass of Scotch.

Roger: Alcoholic

me: Hell yes. Now, you have some solid posts on your blog, specially the one about how you used to be a McDonalds whore… give me the quick and dirty on how you stopped being such a whore and how others can get their dignity back.

Roger: Sweet Jesus, those were the dark days indeed

me: Yah those receipts looked brutal. I spend more at a gentleman’s club.

Roger: You have to understand something – by the time I really made a SERIOUS effort towards stopping and changing, I was already a lifetime fast food hoe. So anything less than an all out cold turkey approach just didn’t work. I remember when I tried to wean myself off eating it to only 1x a week. I’d go like two days. Say that I’d use my “fast food” day early and be done with it, and as soon as that food touched my lips it was on like donkey kong in a victoria secret thong

me: That’s a terrible image.

…I meant you eating burgers, not donkey kong in a thong.

Roger: Hah. But once I committed to stopping though, I put a plan in place. Whenever I went out anywhere, I never took money or a credit card with me. And to be honest, I’ve never had a burger from a fast food joint (aside from In and Out). I was all about the fries, nuggets and sweets.

I’m sure I’m missing out on something amazing though.

me: Yeah kind of. Weird how you never ate their burgers. But in a way that’s even worse since the beef they use is OK. And by ok I mean it’s better quality meat than the chicken as far as I can tell.

Roger: Yeah. I’ve seen pictures of what it is and apparently it looks like alien sperm? Don’t judge me. My Sexification travels take me far and wide.

me: I wonder what your babies would have looked like if you kept on stuffing yourself with that stuff.

Roger: Probably like Carrot Top. Here is the advice that I’d offer to a person in a similar position: DO NOT rationalize. It was like going through withdrawals for me. On a daily basis I’d look for an excuse to hit up the drive-thru. “Oh, I stubbed my toe. I need 2 large fries to make it feel better”

me: Haha, now you just sound like my man, JC

Roger: He’s a brave one. He still messes with the temptress. I still think about eating that food daily, but I know that if I go down that road it is over for me.

me: So it’s still a bit of an on-going battle? How long do you think it’ll last?

Roger: Yessir. I’ve had the habit for most of my life, so this success will be on shaky ground for at least another year or two I imagine

me: Just think, Serena’s ass would never approve

Roger: And I cant have that! ROG LAW DONT PLAY THAT!

But yeah. Do not compromise. Eat anything but fast food. To be successful you have to break that connection between any emotions and feelings you have and the act of getting the food. It all starts with one day. 1 day leads to 2, and 3, and so on…

me: I think that’s why cooking is the shit. Makes you appreciate your time and the quality of the food. Not to mention the results.

Roger: Seriously, and it’s so much cheaper. I bought 5lbs of beef today for $15. I’d spend that in a day easily on food that I could crush in less than 10 minutes.

My worst day happened when I was in college. I got a family size bucket of KFC, 3 large fries, 5 place McChickens and 2 orders of Cinnamons melts.

…then I went to Wendys and got more later on.

me: How the fuck are you alive?

Roger: I don’t know man. I’m sure I’ve shaved a good 15-20 years off my life

me: I’d say.

Roger: I’m sure high intensity intervals would shake loose some plaque and kill me at this point, so I stick to walking.

me: haha oh how I dread cardio. But that’s pretty awesome. I know avoiding cravings isn’t easy, so good on ya for sticking to your guns.

Roger: *BROFIST*

me: *BROFIST*

Rapid Fire Round

me: Now to end off this shebang, I’m going to do a little rapid fire round. I’ll spam… err I mean, spit out questions and you have to answer them as fast as you can in one sentence or LESS. Ready?

Roger: While I was not born ready, I became ready at a superior rate of speed compared to mere mortals – lets do this

me: 1. What makes you awesome?

Roger: My ability to simplify complex and/or mind boggling subjects and make you laugh while doing so.

me: 2. Three things people need to start doing TODAY to be more awesome?

Roger: Taking action consistently, Blaming no one but themselves for their lack of personally defined success, and having lots of sex.

me: 3. Your all time favourite supplement?

Roger: Protein powder

me: 4. One quick, effective tip to lean down for the beach?

Roger: Track your food intake like a mofo – being sexy never happens by accident.

me: 5. Favourite “Cheat” Meal?

Roger: Macaroni & Cheese with a side of apple pie

me: 6. Vodka or Rum?

Roger: Caprisuns

me: 7. Why do white people want to be as sexually tanned as us?

Roger: Because being tanned makes everything better and increases your sexual aura by at least 72%

me: 8. Sex on the first date?

Roger: You should know the answer to this… c’mon MAAAAAN!

me: 9. Top guilty pleasure?

Roger: Multiplayer Online RPGs

me: 10. What are you currently reading?

Roger: Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why

me: 11. What are you currently watching (shows)?

Roger: Curb Your Enthusiasm’

me: And finally, number 12. Favourite movie of all time?

Roger: Enter the motherfucking Dragon!

me: Good choice. I really thought you were gona say something like, “The Notebook”

Roger: Nah, I just re-enact every scene from that movie for fun.

me: Hey I can’t hate. I like to pretend I’m a “Mean Girl”

Except instead of plastic, i like to be called latex!

Roger: And this is why you’re a God among men

me: I’m never one to shy away from kind words.

I have to say BROger, this has been quite the blast. Like this hot chick that farted on my face while I went down on her. Except this I liked… that i didn’t.

Roger: LOL

me: Is it too much to ask for sexual courtesy? like damn.

Roger: I know a guy who lost his face from such an incident

me: What a pussy! But my sympathies, I guess.

Roger: Should’ve taken more Creatine

me: Nah, that’s too scientifically sound. More like, Indigo 3g!

Roger: Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Indigo 3g increased by squat by 2lbs and enabled me with the power to impregnate people by looking at them. Male or female.

So don’t fuck with me – I’ll give you triplets and crush your bank account.

me: … I think Aragon needs to update the last month’s edition of AARR with some REAL facts. I’ll vouch for you. I already feel a tingle in my loins

Roger: I just looked at your twitter pic. You’re done dude.

me: Hah, that needs to be the topic of interview #2. So, any last words? Also, give the readers some info on where you can be found. In case they want to be impregnated as well.

Roger: I can be found blogging like a semi-mad man over at roglawfitness.com as well as interacting daily with folks on Facebook: facebook.com/roglaw and you can follow me on twitter here: @RogLaw

me: Right on. Alright homeslice, till next time. We really should do this more often.

Roger: –should +will

And the world will be a much better place for it. Thanks for the interview man, I’ve been meaning to contact you for awhile now but you beat me to it. I am shamed.

me: It’s ok, my sexiness does tend to intimidate. But I figured I’d be the bigger man
Later

Roger: Farewell!

All Good Things Come To An End

So what did you think? Best interview ever? Best fitness interview ever? Probably. If you have any questions for Roger, post them in the comments below and he’ll be sure to get to them. In the meantime, check out his blog and as always, lift something heavy. I think the term “sexification” is going to be thrown around here much more often in the future.

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© 2011 – 2012, By FitJerk. FitJerk.com is a division of Flawless Fitness Media – All Rights Reserved – No part of this post is to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face. All images are copyright of their respective owners.

Only LOSERS have nothing to say or discuss. Put your thoughts, comments or general rants in the comment section below. FJ does not use censorship but obvious racial slurs and over-the-top stupidity will be deleted.

Let me be honest, about a year ago I would’ve never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would write an article rocking such an absurd title. While people use supplements and flock to their nearest GNC for the latest greatest magic in a bottle, deep down they know the supplement industry is complete nonsense. It’s a scam artist’s way of legally making money. An industry where marketing departments dwarf the science labs where real R&D should be taking place. The obvious solution to this has been whined about over and over – regulate supplements like drugs.

However, doing so will not result in fantasy land where every bottle you buy will be as potent as Viagra mixed with speed. Regulating this industry will have a few major drawbacks that are worth considering… so for the next few minutes, set aside your anger of how you got burnt when a bottle of fat loss pills didn’t work or when a special creatine blend failed to put on 10lbs of lean mass in two weeks.

1. Innovation

If the supplement industry was regulated and each product was treated like a drug which had to pass an absolutely ridiculous process of getting approved, then 95% of products on the market would vanish out of thin air. Poof, and it would be gone. Now I know what you’re thinking – “Good riddance! That garbage won’t be missed!”

However, it’s these fly by night products that fuel a company’s bottom line. It’s what pays for the formulators who will eventually, one day, come out with a break-through product. While most products are indeed garbagesauce, the supplement industry, in my opinion, is heading to a much better place. I mean, I’ve reviewed enough supplements to know how much nonsense there is out there… but killing their source of income and putting bullshit regulations will seriously slow down innovation. Right now, it’s whatever goes. The whole thing is like one big experiment and it’s only from trial and error that something worthwhile comes forth.

Personally, I believe the speed of the supplement industry is similar to the speed of web technology. The internet is one big open platform where almost anything goes, and it’s because of this openness that we have amazing tools and products such as facebook, twitter, youtube, wordpress, myspace etc.  Can you imagine if every website on the planet had to go through a government approval process? How fucked up would that be? My site would most definitely not exist – unless I bribed the politicians with lots of lap dances.

2. Abuse Proof… Sorta

Ok, so let’s say you got your wish and the supplements on the market today were all approved by the FDA. Would this make things safer and more consumer friendly? Pfft… hardly. See, while people think that supplement companies can do whatever the fuck they want and get away with anything, this is hardly the case. Supplement companies aren’t stupid, they know this unregulated space is a double edged sword. So while this gives them freedom to create crazy products, they know that if a minority of people happen to experience an unwanted or major side-effect, their ass is in trouble.

If their products were regulated like drugs and were allowed on the market, side effects would just be part of the game, all they would have to do is mention them (correct me if I’m wrong or missing further details). How many times have you seen those ads where some fag boy in a feminine voice talks about all the beauties of the advertised drug, then right after he says “So talk to your doctor if our insane pill is right for you…” he spews off a massive list of side effects that scare the shit outta you? I know I can’t be the only one. I remember one time I heard the voice say “…may also cause rectal bleeding”. Uhm, no thanks.

The point is, regulated supplements would be extremely potent since companies would have to prove that they work. And since a majority of the population is full of retards, abuse would be so commonplace that it would be shocking. Did you know that Tylenol overdose causes about 450 deaths per year? Yeah, yet that shit is still allowed on store shelves without a prescription. However, when a couple of morons decided to abuse ephedra a few years back died, the ingredient was immediately banned. So the final take home point? Over the counter drugs are far more dangerous than the stuff you can nab from your local supplement store.

3. Easy To Enter

No, I don’t mean your mom… I mean the supplement industry. If you have solid marketing skills and can raise some capital, you’re in. There are plenty of raw ingredient manufacturers and all you have to do is tell them what to mix, how much to mix, what to bottle it in and the label you want to printed on it. Done. While that may sound like an over simplification of the process, it’s actually not too far off from the truth. If you’ve read The 4 Hour Work Week, the you know that’s pretty much the process that Tim followed to create his own supplement and brand.

So why is it a good thing if new companies can pop up daily? Isn’t it better to have a few reliable sources? Yes and no. While having a few core companies is all well and good, this little quirk in the industry ensures that no one company ends up as a dominating monopoly. A new top dog will always rise, killing off the old ones in the process. Again, it’s just like on the web. The most famous example being how facebook managed to overthrow the previous social giant, myspace. Freedom allows rapid growth and those who can’t keep up will either be forced to step aside or will be stomped into submission. In the end, I believe we will win.

Conclusion

As you can tell, I’ve put some thought into this piece. At this point I believe those that bitch about the supplement industry and ask that it be governed and regulated are just people who didn’t do their research and therefore got burnt by products that didn’t deliver. They have no one to blame but themselves. Read the reviews, do your ingredient research and buy products that are worth the cash. It’s kind of like voting, but with your wallet.

See, drug companies don’t need our votes, they have doctors. If you’re sick and a doc prescribes a pill that will supposedly cure you or help you in some way shape or form, you aren’t going to sit and research it’s ingredients and go through reviews on the net. You’ll just go buy the damn thing and pop it.

The supplement industry on the other hand is wide open, we can sway it which ever way we want. Buy the right products and in a few more years we will have ourselves some supplements that truly kick ass. Well, in theory anyway…

- FitJerk

Content originally written by FitJerk for www.fitjerk.com – © 2011 All Rights Reserved. Images copyright of their respective owners. The verbal content of this post is NOT to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face.

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© 2011, By FitJerk. FitJerk.com is a division of Flawless Fitness Media – All Rights Reserved – No part of this post is to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face. All images are copyright of their respective owners.

Only LOSERS have nothing to say or discuss. Put your thoughts, comments or general rants in the comment section below. FJ does not use censorship but obvious racial slurs and over-the-top stupidity will be deleted.

Before we dive in, I figured I’d throw in a little intro as to why I decided to write about a topic that is already well covered in generic Ezine articles and chunks of text that reside on Wikipedia.

Fade In…

Here I was at 2am, coffee in hand, going through my monstrous nutrition text book to refresh my memory on antioxidants. After a few minutes, a disturbing thought dawned on me… “How did I manage to read every fucking page in this book without stabbing my eye out?”. I mean, the info isn’t bad. Far from it actually; everything is referenced, accurate and mostly up to date. No, what I couldn’t believe was how I managed to get through so many pages of dense text forged together in the most boring way possible. It’s as if the authors sat down to proof read and said “No, no! This sentence is too exciting! See this smile on my face? How dare you incur such a thing! Be more boring you twat or we’ll never get published!”

My motivation to keep going probably came from the fact that the prof held my academic progress as hostage. And isn’t that a bitch? I paid thousands of dollars to have the privilege of reading content that will put the Energizer Bunny to sleep while letting some dude decide my future based on a number he would assign to me.

But I have an undeniable love towards finding out how the human body works so I came out victorious, and eyeballs still intact. Whats evident to me is that boredom during learning absolutely demolishes the retention rate of the information acquired. Why do you remember your ABC’s? Because we all know that silly song and our teachers made it fun to sing along. A basic yet important example of how your level of boredom affects your mental performance in matters concerning higher education. Oh damn, I almost sounded like the textbook with that sentence.

So anyways, I’ve decided to take an important macronutrient (fat) and write a 2 part series to explain it in a way that anyone can understand and more importantly, find it (somewhat) entertaining. Say hello cheesy metaphors, outlandish similes, clichés and of course, ridiculous references to sex. Oh, and a shit load of potty mouth words to boot because really… who doesn’t swear? I don’t want to be around someone who doesn’t possess a colorful vocabulary. This is education infused with spice and probably belongs on HBO. It’s how I wished my textbook would read, so I decided to put the keystrokes where my mouth is.

Getting To Know Phat!

Alright, so what the hell is fat? Is it the bumpy cellulite you see on the overweight woman at the beach who can’t pick her thong size? Is it the white stuff surrounding your piece of delicious steak? Or is it the liquid you use to cook your food with? The answer is obviously, “all of the above”. I figured I’d start off easy before we go in deep and heavy. Like anal sex.

The actual geeky scientific term for fat is lipids as it’s insoluble in water. Think of lips, then think of lids. Lipids. Easy. There are 3 types of lipids that you need to know about for the first 10 seconds… after which I will cut that shit down so you’ll only need to know about one.

The 3 Types Of Lipids:

• Triglycerides
• Phospholipids
• Sterols

The one were concerned with are the triglycerides because they represents 95% of the fat we consume. Your body happens to store fat in the form of triglycerides as well. The saying “you are what you eat definitely applies here”. First, let’s break down that long ass name; this will help you remember it better. Scientific names are usually logical so once you understand the logic, it will forever click in your brain. Unless you’re a complete moron, then there is no hope.

The word begins with the letters “tri” meaning 3, duh. This number represents the number of fatty acids, while the term “glyceride” refers to the 3 carbon atom backbone to which the fatty acids are attached to. Below is a little illustration that will help you visualize this awesome threesome.

With me so far? Cool. Next thing you need to know is that the length of the fatty acid molecule isn’t always the same… just as how the length of a man’s “manhood” isn’t always the same. This is being accurately represented by the image above. That blue line is definitely way more excited to be attached to glycerol than the yellow line. The green line is just chillin, being average.

However, unlike humans, the chain length of triglycerides are divided into three varieties. We have Short-Chain Fatty Acids, Medium-Chain Fatty Acids and Long-Chain Fatty Acids. Complicated stuff, eh? So how do you know what you’re dealing with? Well it’s pretty simple…

• Short Chain represents a fatty acid length of 6 carbon atoms or less
• Medium Chain represents a fatty acid length of 6-12 carbon atoms
• Long Chain represents a fatty acid length of 14 or more carbon atoms

Why are chain lengths important? Because it will determine the speed and method of digestion as well as the function of the fat you eat. The digestion of fat will be covered in great detail in the second part of this series.

Levels Of Saturation

Ok so we know that triglyceride is a type of lipid and comes in three varieties: short chain, medium chain and long chain. But annoyingly, triglycerides can also be categorized by the type of carbon atom bonds found inside the fatty acid. If the carbon atoms in a fatty acid is bonded together by single bonds only, we call that saturated fat. ‘What is it saturated by’, you ask? Hydrogen!

Every carbon atom in that chain has 2 hydrogen atoms attached to it… for company. Some would say I’m saturated by women. If I was reborn as a fatty acid, you can bet I’d be saturated and “very bad” for your health. As you can see from the picture, saturated fat forms a very neat and clean looking molecule… this means that a bunch of them could be packed tightly together resulting in solids at room temperature. Think butter and lard. But it’s not always a solid, there are a few exceptions such as coconut oil and palm kernel oil.

However, if the fatty acid chain has two carbon atoms that are attached together by a double bond, it’s called monounsaturated fat. Mono refers to the number of double bonds in the entire chain (1) and it’s unsaturated because at the carbon double bond location, it’s not pimping as many hydrogen atoms as saturated fat (hydrogen atoms are represented by the white balls). With me so far? Good.

On the left is a picture representing what this particular fatty acid molecule looks like. As you can see, the shape isn’t as neat as saturated fat. If you were playing Tetris, this molecule would be a bitch to slot away neatly and as such, at room temperature, it’s found in the form of liquids (olive oil, canola oil, cashews etc)

And finally we have a third type of triglyceride called polyunsaturated fat. “Poly” because it’s got more than one double bond, and unsaturated because just like monounsaturated fat, it can’t pimp many hydrogen atoms at it’s double bond locations.

Again, just like with monounsaturated fat, this molecule is messy in terms of shape and therefore comes in the form of liquids. Alpha Linoleic acid is one example you can see below but that’s at a molecular level. Other oils include cottonseed, corn and safflower.

Putting It All Together

The final thing you need to know is that foods rarely contain ONE type of triglyceride. They all contain a mix of everything you’ve read above. For example, butter is 65% saturated fat, 31% monounsaturated fat and 4% polyunsaturated fat. But because the majority of it’s construction at a molecular level is saturated fat, it stays solid at room temperature… and gets even more solid when you put it in the fridge, at which point it won’t spread nicely on your toast. Don’t holes in your toast piss you off?

On the flipside we have olive oil which contains 14% saturated fat, 74% monounsaturated fat and 10% polyunsaturated fat. Also, for future reference, I’ll be using acronyms when talking about the different type of triglycerides to make things easier. They are listed below… get to know them as well as, if not better than your spouse. If you’re lonely and have no spouse, then get to know them better than your right hand.

SFA = Saturated Fatty Acid

MUFA = Monounsaturated Fatty Acid

PUFA = …take a wild guess

I’m going to leave it at that for now. Hopefully you’ve got some good background knowledge on fat. At least enough to impress your friends. In the next installment, I’m going to discuss how your body handles all the different types of triglycerides, which ones you should be consuming, which ones you should be avoiding, why fish oil is the shit and why saturated fat isn’t all that bad. Really.

I’m gona make sure your knowledge on fat is as lean as possible. In the mean time, let me know what you thought and leave a comment. I know you have a voice. Stop being silent.

Cheers

- FitJerk

Content originally written by FitJerk for www.fitjerk.com – © 2010 All Rights Reserved – This post is NOT to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face.

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© 2011, By FitJerk. FitJerk.com is a division of Flawless Fitness Media – All Rights Reserved – No part of this post is to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face. All images are copyright of their respective owners.

Only LOSERS have nothing to say or discuss. Put your thoughts, comments or general rants in the comment section below. FJ does not use censorship but obvious racial slurs and over-the-top stupidity will be deleted.

If you’re reading this, then it’s safe to assume that you enjoyed that carefully selected picture which represents this post. In fact, you might be thinking of cake right now. Or maybe you’re thinking of going out and buying some… or you might be stuffing your face this very moment! And that’s the point I’m trying to make. What happened to your “hunger” control? I’ll tell you what happened; it got drop kicked in the nut sack and felt on the floor whimpering.

You see, there are two things that trigger us to eat: Hunger and Appetite. The former is a physiological trigger that tells your brain (which then tells you) that food is required in order for you to continue being alive. It doesn’t matter what, just something is needed to keep your body functioning at 98.6 degrees… give or take. The latter is a psychological desire that makes us want to consume specific foods.

Take a guess what I triggered systematically by placing a picture of that delicious slice of cake as the highlight of this post?

And herein lies the problem. When people are on diets and such, they focus on controlling their hunger to reach their dietary requirements. But hunger is a mechanism that has kept our species alive for hundreds of thousands of years. Suppressing such an important feature of your body is completely idiotic. You might as well learn how to stop yourself from breathing. Seriously. Hunger is triggered when it’s needed. Period.

Appetite on the other hand is triggered when you are aroused by the stimulation of your senses. For example, let’s say you just ate a well balanced lunch and are on your way to meet a friend at a coffee shop. You know you ate, and your body doesn’t need anymore food to stay alive… yet when you enter the coffee shop, the aroma of the chocolate caramel cake just hijacks your nostrils and grabs a hold of your eyeballs like a god damn leech. Suddenly you want cake. Fuck!

This is a scenario that happens all over the world all too often and it’s what leads people to “cheat” on their meal plans. By the way, do you know what it’s called when you completely lose control of your senses? It’s called having “cravings”. Ever notice how obese people just “crave” a million different types of food? Yeah, it’s because they have absolutely no control over their sense. I’m not saying I’m perfect – far from it. However my appetite control is in check. I control it, it does not control me. In fact, once you get good at controlling your senses, you can choose when to let go and when to exercise control. It’s like a dog; when in the park, you can unhook it’s restraints and let it run wild and have fun… but there are times when you need to yank that leash so that it knows who is in control and what is considered appropriate and inappropriate behaviour.

Here is my simple 2 step process that I practiced for about a year to keep my senses from taking over my food intake.

Controlling That Appetite

1. Know your weak triggers. We humans only have so many senses, (sight, smell, sound, touch & taste) so get to know which ones have the biggest impact on you. The best way is to isolate them and write them down in order from strongest to weakest. For example, if seeing the post picture really made you crave cake… then you know sight is your weakness. Personally for me, it’s smell. Some of these senses might overlap and for 90% of the population… sight and smell is the ultimate deadly combination. Marketers know this, which is why the fast food industry is outta control. The CEO of McDonalds probably hates the shit outta me right now.

2. Divert attention. If sight is your weakness, then train yourself to look away. Most people have a second nature response to look away when they see something disgusting. Well this didn’t just HAPPEN. Seeing a chicken running around with it’s head chopped off, bleeding all over the place is… on a very basic level, just a bunch of molecules scattered all over the place. However, it’s the whole concept of the situation that makes you want to look away. Well train yourself to look away when you see that bubbling cheese pizza. I’ve trained myself to have laser like focus when I see a hottie and to do a head-snapping turn when oversized individuals wear clothing too tight for their own good.

If smell is your weakness, the most effective thing I’ve done is to learn to breathe through my mouth. Walking through a coffee shop towards a bookstore doesn’t have to cripple your will power. Just switch your breathing for a few minutes and you won’t be able to smell a damn thing. Other senses have similar solutions as well. For sound… just listen to your iPod. For touch, well keep your grimy hands off. Duh.

The Overlap

So there you have it, my simple 2 step process: Identify, then self train yourself into doing actions that help control your senses. However, I don’t want you to think that Hunger and Appetite are two different entities. There is most definitely an overlap… but it’s my belief that the overlap is minor.

This means that controlling the “bigger portion” will lead to you having more control over what goes and what shouldn’t go in your mouth.

- FitJerk

Discuss: How much control would you say you have over your appetite? Do you know your ‘weak’ senses off-hand or are you going to have to experiment? Share in the comments below.

Content originally written by FitJerk for www.fitjerk.com – © 2010 All Rights Reserved – This post is NOT to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face.

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© 2010 – 2011, By FitJerk. FitJerk.com is a division of Flawless Fitness Media – All Rights Reserved – No part of this post is to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face. All images are copyright of their respective owners.

Only LOSERS have nothing to say or discuss. Put your thoughts, comments or general rants in the comment section below. FJ does not use censorship but obvious racial slurs and over-the-top stupidity will be deleted.

How Bad Can Sometimes Be Good…

I think a common misconception that people have of me or any other fitness trainer/consultant is that they think we live these grand ass perfect lives. A life where our fridges are filled with salads and organic meats, our wallets are organized by $100 bills and packets of protein powder and our social lives consist of going camping at the gym or hitting up exclusive, classy social gatherings where the bar tender gives us a wink and slips us a lime n’ tonic because hey… we don’t want alcohol ruining this perfect piece of ass we worked so hard to get, now do we?

And that’s all fucking nonsense. I’m telling you now, if you come across a “Fitness guru” or whatever that claims that he/she lives this perfectly healthy life, RUN! Run the other way. Do some HIIT sprints in the opposite direction because they are either a) lying out of their probably huge ass or b) really boring to be around.

I mean, you probably know that I’m no saint. I don’t really pray, I can be a selfish prick at times and usually do what I want, when I want. But on the flip side I have a passion for the no BS approach to changing lives. Hooray for me. And yet I still receive questions such as “Is it bad that I had one TV dinner today?”, “You probably think it’s dumb but I had a puff of a cigar the other day, will it decrease my metabolic rate?”, “How many sets do i have to do to undo the BigMac I ate the other day?”, “I wish I could have a perfect diet such as yours”

Blah Blah Blah. Look, I’m flattered but all that loonballism is fantasy. Today, I’m going to let you in on my bad said. Like badder than bad side. I’ll be revealing things that you didn’t think I’d consider. The greater the shock you receive, the greater the fantasy you were living in. But all of it has a point, so bare with me and don’t do something retarded like stop reading half way and take my words way out of context. Let’s start with…

Eating Clean, Or Something Like It

100% clean eating? There’s no such thing. And if there is, it’s boring as hell. I have many E-Training clients that have like a 90% clean eating program but most of the time I usually let them eat whatever they want, as long as it fits within certain guidelines. There are times where I’ll email them and be like “Ok man, the weekend is upon us, time to have some fun. Here are the 3 rules… as long as you don’t break them, go nuts!”. The response I usually get is “Really? Are you sure I won’t un-do the work?”. Their reactions are understandable. The media has overhyped and misinformed the shit out of everyone, so it’s natural to think that only a perfect life will give you perfect results. There is no such thing as a perfect life nor a perfect body. There is just what you are happy with.

So back to eating for real. I’m a big eater and I do it all. From junk food to chips and ice cream and all that good stuff. Everyone has a preferred nasty food item that they love to stuff through their faces. Martin Berkhan from LeanGains demolishes cheesecakes like it’s nobody’s business. JC from JCDFitness loves sugary cereals such as Lucky Charms or whatever else you can find in a bright box. He probably likes them all actually, I can’t even begin to name specifics.

Myself? I just love me a grimy meat lover’s pizza glistening with animal fat and topped with the spiciest peppers you can find. In the gym, my partner in crime, Steven, eats Cadbury mini eggs for breakfast, sushi and a Monster energy for lunch, then has Miso soup with some other nonsense, and to top it off… he’s fucking vegetarian! And yet still, after all that ridiculousness (at which I shake my head at) he can still out deadlift most of the guys that roll through the gym, pound for pound. Oh, and between all of us, there is another common denominator besides indulging in our nasty foods… all of our bodies are lean and mean. Coincidence? I think not.

Drinking

Then we have ethanol… the delicious substance that has been lowering sexual standards in the favor of men for thousands of years. I’ve already written about whether or not you should mix beer with fitness and Martin has a killer article on alcohol, fat loss and muscle growth and gets more nerdy with it than I choose to get so read up on that. The fact remains that I do party every so often and do have a few beers a week. Lately I’ve been expanding my horizons and been indulging in fine glasses of scotch. Well ok, I don’t think a $20 bottle is exactly “fine” but my taste buds are starting to come around. Me likey.

Then I got this crazy app for my phone which has like 200 of the most popular drink recipes. Did you know that an Abortion is 1oz Vodka and a dash of Tabasco Sauce? I know. Awesome. And I’ve got more for you to think about…

Bend Me Over: Fill glass 2/3 with OJ. Add 1 part Vodka, 1 part Amaretto and 1 part Sour Puss.

Buttery Nipple: 1/2 shot Bailey’s, 1/2 shot Butterscotch Schnapps

Satan’s Piss: 1.5oz Bacardi 151, 3 dashes of Tabasco Sauce

Wet Dream: 1 part Southern Comfort, Pineapple Juice, 7UP, 1 part Malibu, splash of Cranberry Juice

Electric Lemonade: 2oz Vodka, 1oz Blue Curacao, Fresh Orange (slice or juice… doesn’t say)

Smoking

Now were getting into tricky territory. The night and day decision most come to is smoking = bad! Actually that’s probably true, I don’t think I know of any type of smoking that’s particularly GOOD for a regular person… besides a legit medicinal card for someone who needs smoke some Mary J… as per doctor orders, of course. But you have one life to live, and it’s up to you to consider the cost to benefit ratio of the shit you do. Like smoking cigarettes? Completely stupid. It provides no real pleasure and people who think they look “cool” with a white stick in their hands need to realize that they actually resemble a douchebag that has been primed with a thin layer of faggot. Cost to benefit? What benefit, it doesn’t exist. Ingredients such as tar will fuck you up while nicotine will get you hooked sooner or later. Might as well burn money.

But, tobacco by itself (flavored and filtered) is something I smoke on occasion. Also known as hitting up a hookah bar. I can probably count the number of times I’ve been to a hookah bar using the fingers on my two hands. It’s really not that much. But the cost to benefit ratio is there. It’s a kick ass social experience and the smoky watermelon flavor is absolutely delicious. Then there is always the fact that you can buy an Arabian belly dance and the entire group is in for a good time. For those who’ve never been… this ain’t some nasty stripper giving you lap dances. It’s a no-touch policy and the women are very classy.

And what about the green stuff? I figured I’d be talking about it eventually, so here goes: As long as you know it’s not laced with garbage and you don’t have an unusual reaction to it (some get paranoid) you’re probably ok. I know everyone from doctors to athletes who get high on occasion and are perfectly content and normal people. Actually they’re pretty damn cool to be honest. It’s not as addictive as they say… that’s pure propaganda nonsense. In fact, it is my belief that its less harmful than drinking. However, it “is” currently illegal or whatever so I can’t say I condone its use. I don’t smoke it either. I just uh, sometimes end up in a room filled with people who provide the second hand smoke and I can’t help but inhale. Deeply. Yeah. And it makes you really hungry… which is kind of nice. It came in handy when I wanted to put some mass on my chesticles. But if you’re trying to get lean, I guess you can see how that would be bad.

The Flipside Of The Bad Side

So how do I and others do it? I mean, looking at the info above you would be lead to believe that it’s not something a picture perfect trainer should be doing in his spare time. And that’s the god damn problem… a trainer isn’t perfect. I’m a jerk, not a perfect jerk and nor do I want to be. Perfectionism is a fools fantasy. But I am damn good at what I do, and that’s because of something called experience and past accomplishments.

I wasn’t always fit, it took a shit load of diligence and work to get to where I’m at… but now that I’m where I want to be, maintaining past momentum is so horrendously easy that if I told you, you wouldn’t believe it. As long as you’re comparing it to the effort it took me in the beginning. I still put in work mind you, because I like pushing my physical boundaries. Most of my eating and workout habits are great, so in comparison all this drinking, occasional smoking and eating nasty pizzas look like a drop in the bucket – they don’t change a damn thing.

There is a reason I’m a hard ass and don’t let new, out of shape clients drink much (if at all), eat fast food and indulge in naughty desserts, and there is a reason that long time clients get the weekend off to do whatever the hell they want (almost). It’s the famous 80/20 rule, and it applies to pretty much everything in life… including fitness. 80 percent of your results come from 20 percent of the work you put in. But the question is, are you willing to put in that 20% so that 3 months, 6 months or maybe a year down the road you can enjoy your 80? Think about it. And if you need help, I’ll be here with glass of Satan’s Piss, a slice of meaty pizza, a smouldering watermelon hookah, looking ripped as fuck. Don’t hate.

- FitJerk

Content originally written by FitJerk for www.fitjerk.com – © 2010 All Rights Reserved – This post is NOT to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face.

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© 2010 – 2012, By FitJerk. FitJerk.com is a division of Flawless Fitness Media – All Rights Reserved – No part of this post is to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face. All images are copyright of their respective owners.

Only LOSERS have nothing to say or discuss. Put your thoughts, comments or general rants in the comment section below. FJ does not use censorship but obvious racial slurs and over-the-top stupidity will be deleted.

Dudes always seem to email me and ask, “FJ, I’m a skinny twirp, what’s the best meal to put on some weight?!”, to which I say, “Lard!”. Then I stumble upon a grand realization that what they’re actually talking about is quality muscle mass. Ah, big difference. Fat has weight, so does muscle and we obviously want the latter… so let’s stop it with these stupid generalizations and get specific, eh dudes?

So, you want to put some muscle on your frame? Cool, well today I’ll give you a recipe which will help do just that. Keyword, help. Eating this 5x a day will not really help, more like hinder. Also, if you can’t really handle carbs then realize that you might feel a bit sluggish after having this, as I do. But I suck it up and push through anyways. Nothing a hit of caffeine can’t fix.

The Spicy Tuna Pizza

There are many pros to this little recipe: it’s quick to prepare, tastes fan-fucking-tastic, is calorie dense and has almost everything you need to put on some solid muscle mass. Most people would never even think of putting tuna on their pizza, but wait till you try it. It’s pretty damn good.

Ingredients

• 2 Cans of spicy thai tuna
• 1 Greek Whole Wheat Pita
• 2 – 3 Tbl spoons of Pasta Sauce
• Shredded Cheese (mozzarella or cheddar, your choice)

In the pics I’ve only used 1 can of tuna since I ran out. I usually use 2.

Take the pita, spread some sauce over it, then spread out 2 cans of spicy tuna evenly over the pita, sprinkle on some cheese and throw it in a miniature oven at 450 degrees for about 10-12 minutes. Pour yourself the perfect companion – glass of chocolate milk (or protein shake) and you have a great tasting meal that will do you some good in the muscle department.

Total Stats (Pizza + Milk)

• Protein: 48g
• Carbs: 71g
• Fat: 24.5g
• Calories: 770

A few things to note: Like I said, from a numbers-only perspective, this is a very caloric dense meal and seems appealing. Have this twice in a day and you’re already up to 1540 calories. That’s all well and good, but make sure you don’t forget your veggies, lean meats and protein shakes. I usually have 1 of these meals a day or sometimes 2 when I want to bulk.

You can always modify it as I do by throwing some green peppers, mushrooms and onions on top to keep it from getting boring. The tuna also comes in different flavors so try that out, or you can just season a regular can of tuna to your liking. I wouldn’t recommend plain tuna though… quite tasteless.

Cheers

- FitJerk

Content originally written by FitJerk for www.fitjerk.com – © 2010 All Rights Reserved – This post is NOT to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face.

———–
© 2010, By FitJerk. FitJerk.com is a division of Flawless Fitness Media – All Rights Reserved – No part of this post is to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face. All images are copyright of their respective owners.

Only LOSERS have nothing to say or discuss. Put your thoughts, comments or general rants in the comment section below. FJ does not use censorship but obvious racial slurs and over-the-top stupidity will be deleted.

One of my pet peeves about the fitness industry is the general expectations that people have when it comes to seeing results. It’s annoying because opinions are always polarizing and hardly ever sensible. We have morons that think they will lose a hundred pounds in a month and then we have underachievers who give people slow and un-motivating expectations by saying that results will take decades. Both these toolbags are utterly wrong. You can’t expect a miracle in 30 days, but you should not expect to spend a decade getting to where you want to be. The real answer lies somewhere in the middle for most people… 2 years or less; depending on how much you’ve let yourself go.

Most of you know I hate that term weight loss with a passion. I want to punch it in the face; I’m more about fat loss… but for today let’s assume that we are talking about the same thing. How realistic should your expectations be if you want to get lean and mean? Today I’ll give you a general guideline so that you can see into the future and say hi to the skinner and sexier you. That’s right bitches, FJ’s got the crystal ball and you get to take a peek.

There are four factors that will decide the outcome to your success. You can think of them as a chain and every “weak link” in the chain will hamper your results. The stronger you make each link, the faster you’ll see progress. It’s like the old saying goes: The whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

Frequency

You know, there were some low life losers that hated The Biggest Loser and criticised the shit outta it, then there were realists and awesome people like me who loved every minute of it. While it had serious entertainment value and Jillian Michaels is one of my side crushes, the show proved one very important thing; training with a ridiculous frequency delivers results when it comes to dropping pounds. Period.

The show didn’t do everything right, not by a long shot. Some of the exercise choices were poor and a few food choices were lame but the fact of the matter is, the winners of that show went through a mind-blowing transformation. I mean, looking at the before/after pictures you just cannot argue with the end result. And reason is that they trained with such a high frequency that even if their diet was shit and their exercise program was a mess, results were inevitable. How long are we talking? 8 hours a day/7days a week.

Now back that thang up. I am by no means saying that you need to train for that long… in fact if you can, you need to get a damn job. I’m just saying that if you can train 4 days/week for 60 minutes instead of 3 days/week for 45 minutes then you should do so. And if you want to get all nerdy about it, the explanation is really dead simple. The more you move, the more calories you burn, and assuming your eating habits (more on that below) are under your maintenance rate, you’ll drop the weight.

Intensity

This term still hasn’t truly been defined in the industry, and mainly because it’s not something you can measure directly. Powerlifters and bodybuilders can say that intensity is basically the T.U.T (time under tension). The greater your TUT for a given load, the more “intense” your workout. Fair enough. But for people looking to achieve general weight loss, I’m going to say that the definition of intensity should be directly related to heart rate. The longer you can keep your heart rate elevated at a rate above the norm, the higher your intensity.

This means that doing 4 sets of deadlifts with 30 second rest in between will be a more intense workout than if you were to use the exact same weight but rest for 90 seconds in between the four sets. Now obviously the deadlift session with 30 second rest intervals will be over sooner than the 90 second rest session… so doesn’t that average out?

No, because if you recall in my definition I included a time element. Getting your heart rate up is one thing, keeping it there is a different ball game. So switch over to another exercise and keep chugging along. If your workout session lasts only 45 mins, then with 30 second rest intervals you would’ve gotten more work done and thus burnt more calories. And I won’t lie to you, 30 second rest intervals are a bitch and a half, but it’s how I manage to say this lean without ever bothering to do cardio.

Program Layout

So working out 4 days a week and keeping your workouts intense will no doubt deliver results… but if all you’re doing is lifting the same shit day in and day out and or just running around like a hamster, then sooner or later your body will adapt. Once your body adapts, you’ll hit a plateau and will most probably kill yourself in frustration. To avoid mass country-wide suicides, I suggest planning your workouts with some intelligence. Here are a few things you can do (besides higher professional help):

• Change up your core workout plan every 4-5 weeks. No E-Training client of mine has done the same workout plan for longer than 5 weeks. I make new ones all the time.
• Change up minor details in you workout plan every time you hit up the gym. For example, if you ran at 7.5mph for 20 mins, bump that shit to 8mph. No two workouts should be identical, even if they follow the same exercise order.
• Always, Always, Always use multi-joint lift movements and leave the isolation lifts for people who already have a killer body (like me). Deadlifts, Barbell Squats, Jumping Squats, Lunges, Powercleans, Overhead Press, Benchpress, Pullups and Dips are some of the best fat burning exercises you can do. Do you notice something ironic here? These are also the best strength builders… all you have to change is the load amount, rest period, reps and you’re set. Powerlifting and Fat Cutting have many parallels that too many people fail to see.
• Alternate high reps with medium reps but don’t bother doing low reps. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that never go below 10 reps. If you can’t lift for 10, you’re lifting too heavy. Remember, your goal is fat loss. People think you need to do this weird shit where you need to lift 6-8 reps to build muscle then 15-20 reps to burn fat or whatever. NO! If you’re resistance training, you will build muscle. You can focus on serious hypertrophy once you’re a bit leaner.

If you want a solid fat loss workout, then grab my HeadStart fitness report; you can download it after you finish reading this article (scroll down a bit further) or hit up the opt-in box located at the top-right of the page. It’s an instant FREE download. The fat loss plan consists of super sets which will have you sweating and will surely drop the weight off you.

Eating Habits

This factor is probably the most important. I really believe that 60% – 65% of your weight loss success comes form how you manage your food intake. You could literally not do anything I said above. In fact, when it comes to “exercising”, you can just go for half hour walks 3 days/week, but if you’re eating habits are tighter than a virgin, you’ll drop the pounds. No joke.

The best and easiest way to start is to find out what your maintenance calories are and then drop that number by 400-500. A simple way to find your maintenance calories is to track what you eat for a week and average out your daily calories. Now you know the amount of calories that made you fat; assuming you didn’t change the way you ate. Then you take this number and drop it by 500 and test it out…

If your weight doesn’t change then congratulations, you’ve found your maintenance calories. If it goes up, drop it by 200-300 calorie increments till you find it. If the weight drops then increase it. There are obviously more sophisticated/quicker ways of doing this, but I’ve found that this longer method is one of the most accurate since it mimics a person’s already established bad habit.

Now, some people like Intermittent Fasting… which in my opinion is just a clever way of cutting anywhere from 1500-2000 calories of your weekly intake. I personally like eating but do whatever works for you. As long as you’re eating less than your body needs, you’ll drop the weight. Throw on intense exercise done frequently with smart program design and viola! You’ll be ripped.

Conclusion

The advice I just gave will most probably help you achieve 10%-15% body fat assuming there are no “weak links” in your chain. Below is a chart with some realistic expectations you can hope to see depending on how many factors you’ve nailed. I’ve compiled this list of average numbers from my E-Training clients so don’t freak out if your numbers are below or above. It’s just an educated guess. Some clients can afford to train 5 days a week, others can only manage only 2, so be aware of that.

Legend:

• Fq – High Frequency Of Workous (4+ days/week)
• In – Intense Workouts (Rest Periods <60 secs)
• P – Smart Program Layout (Big lifts, correct technique etc.)
• D – Proper Diet (Lower than maintenance calories + good macro-nutrient ratios)

Notice how when all you have working for you is your diet (3rd option), you can still manage to lose up to half a pound a week. That’s 2lbs/month or 24 lbs/year just from proper eating alone!

Finally, if you want to get down to those ridiculous 5%-6% that I stay at, then you’ll have to introduce some supplementation, tweak your macronutrient ratios, do carbohydrate cycling and execute a few dehydration tricks (for photo shoots). But that is a whole another subject matter which will take more than one post to explain. For now though, if you aren’t at a body fat level of 10% – 15%, then you should be excited in your panties because I’ve just laid out a solid blueprint for you. Get your ass to work. And if you need me to do do the planning for you, then hit me up for some E-Training.

- FitJerk

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© 2010 – 2012, By FitJerk. FitJerk.com is a division of Flawless Fitness Media – All Rights Reserved – No part of this post is to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face. All images are copyright of their respective owners.

Only LOSERS have nothing to say or discuss. Put your thoughts, comments or general rants in the comment section below. FJ does not use censorship but obvious racial slurs and over-the-top stupidity will be deleted.

Ridiculous.

So I figured it is time to shut their ass up. Yes, I’ve read the studies. Yes I know people that don’t need to eat 6 meals a day and yes I have personally been eating 6 meals a day for many years and the results speak for themselves. But the effectiveness of this method lies in more than just caloric math. Half the battle for most people, as I’ve found, is psychological. And while the effects of eating 6 times a day can be debated from a biologic/nutrition standpoint, it’s psychological awesomeness is something you just can’t fuck with.

So on we go. I’m going to give you 6 reasons why you should (if you aren’t already) be eating smaller frequent meals instead of 2-3 big ones.

1. Better Energy Levels

Do you know one of the most taxing processes for your body? It’s digestion of food. Ever had a huge ass meal (like say, steak and potatoes) only to find yourself vegetating on the couch for a few hours after? Or ever had the strong urge to fall asleep at work because of the ginormous lunch you stuffed down your throat?

Yeah, there’s a reason for that.

Huge meals take a huge amount of time to digest, which means all the energy is going towards digestion. Why the hell does anyone think that this is a good idea? Specially in today’s fast paced world where we barely have time to sit and think?

Eating smaller meals will prevent you from dozing off and will keep you up and alert. I don’t need RedBull to pull all nighters. All I need is some oatmeal, peanut butter + jelly and some half-caf coffee. Consuming those foods in small proportions every 45 minutes will keep me up all night long. Don’t believe me? Go try it.

2. Controls your blood sugar levels [Edit: New research proves otherwise... updates below]

A new study was done comparing 3 meals/day versus 6 meals/day and compared the insulin and BG levels and the results were not what I expected. First let me get something out of the way, and that is the design of the study itself. Yes, the subjects were fed liquid meals and yes the carbohydrate source was pretty much straight glucose… not what you would eat normally but liquid absorption rate is much higher so that’s what they use. The end result was this…

“Baseline glucose and insulin values were not different between study days. Peak glucose levels were highest on the 3CHO day; however the 12 h glucose AUC was higher during the 6CHO condition (p = 0.029) than 3CHO condition, with no difference in the insulin response. The 6HP condition resulted in a decreased glucose AUC (p = 0.004) and insulin AUC (p = 0.012) compared to 6CHO.

Conclusion

In non-obese individuals, glucose levels remained elevated throughout the day with frequent CHO meals compared to 3CHO meals, without any differences in the insulin levels.”

First let me explain what all the wording means. CHO is a carbohydrate dominant meal where is PRO is a protein dominant meal. The numbers (3 or 6) represent the number of meals total calories were divided into, giving you the frequency. Simple shit. So, what about the results? Well, while there was not much difference between the CHO and PRO groups (it’s expected that a carb heavy meal would result in greater BG levels), there was a difference between the 3 and 6 meal groups. It seems that 3 meals a day resulted in lower BG levels for the individuals.

In my opinion, the real world results would be a lot less dramatic since having glucose syrup and all-liquid meals is not something people do unless you got your ass kicked and are bed ridden in a hospital. Still, you cannot argue with the facts.

So what is a frequent meal eating plan good for? Well for mass… duh. Look, there are guys out there that I help pack on pounds and they can eat huge meals every sitting so in 4 meals they can achieve their macro-nutrient ratios I outlined for them. However, there are some (like me) that just can’t eat massive ass meals. But I’ll be damned if i don’t reach my ratios for the day, especially if I’m feeling like bulking. So what do i do? Simple, eat 6-8 times a day. There’s your second reason.

3. You’ll feel hungry LESS often

Lets face the obvious facts here: If you are eating often (say ever 2 hours or so), it really doesn’t give your body a chance to trigger any hunger signals… even if you miss one out of the 6 meals. But on the other hand, lets say you have a big breakfast that carries you over to lunch at which point you realize you are short on time so you eat something light. Fair enough.

But you’re not eating often and therefore your last meal, dinner, is like 6 hours away. I can pretty much guarantee that your stomach will begin making some nasty noises as you trek your way home. Last time I checked, no one really likes this feeling and the noises are quite embarrassing. So eating frequently will at the very least… prevent  you from looking like a noise maker.

On a side note: I’ve noticed that over time your body will adapt to the type of eating method you choose. Since my body expects food every 2 hours now, it automatically bitches if I haven’t fed it in due time. It’s like having an auto alarm clock… and this is awesome. I usually don’t have to think about eating, I just get hungry every 2 hours. So for those douchebags that keep telling me that eating 6x a day requires too much effort… think again. It requires effort only up until the point your body adapts and it becomes a habit.

Does this seem like a contradiction? Yes and no. Actually probably yes. To be honest, your body’s eating “habit” is a much more important factor. Most people who switch from 3 to 6 meals a day generally don’t find themselves feeling hungry, and that’s just speaking from feedback. Specially when they adhere to my meal plans where are more protein heavy, a fact proven by this study. What you’ll notice in that study though, is that those obese subjects felt more hungry when they 6 meals a day, yet had lower BG levels (a contradiction to the study in #2). So what data should you believe? Let me make it simple…

Switching form a low frequency eating to high frequency eating while increasing the ratio of protein consumed will, from my experience, help you feel fuller for longer while resulting in lower BG levels.

If you feel like you’ve been taken for an information ride, full of U-Turns and Round-Abouts then you’re absolutely right. Bite me. It’s what I do

4. More options

This one was a revelation for me… an elusive obvious I never even picked up on until I decided to write this article. I realized that ever since I started to eat frequently, my cooking skills have improved which has led to me eating and trying out a variety of different foods. I mean, if you have to eat 6 different meals… why would you eat the same shit over and over? It’s boring and pathetic.

[Try something new]

I have so many options now and I look forward to grocery shopping and preparing my quick meals. When I was like the average person eating 3 times a day, my daily food log looked boooring. There was no real variety unless I went out to eat. Having 6 slots to fill will literally force you to come up with or look up different foods. Your pallet will expand and you will be introduced to stuff you never thought you would like.

5. Most people end up eating LESS when meal frequency goes up!

This one really nails the coffin on the “you don’t need to eat frequently” bandwagon. From all my data and experience that I have, I found that clients who were eating less frequently were actually consuming MORE calories. At first it may sound confusing… I mean, doubling the amount of times you eat food should increase your overall caloric intake right?

Wrong.

It’s psychology my friend. If your goal is to lose weight, and I told you that you just HAD to eat 6 times a day… guess what would happen? You would automatically make damn sure that each meal was balanced and light so that you don’t overeat and get bigger (at least after a bit of guidance and training you would). Let me give you a sample breakdown from a client’s log.

I won’t reveal any personal details since I practice strict confidentiality.

Breakfast: 600 calories

Lunch: 550 calories

Snack: 300 calories

Dinner: 700 calories

Total: 2150 calories in a day

Now after discussing their goals, training level and their weekly activity level, I found that their actual daily caloric requirement was only 1700. So you can see why they were over weight. I’ve always said that caloric math isn’t 100% accurate, there are too many real-world factors to make fat loss a simple number crunching venture, but it’s still a decent way to get an overall picture of the problem at hand. Below is what their new meal log looked like.

(Note: This was during the first week without much push from my end. I didn’t even tell them the amount of calories to aim for, just gave them the macronutrient break down and it resulted in awesomeness)

Breakfast: 300

Snack: 250

Lunch: 350

Snack: 200

Dinner: 300

Snack: 250

Total: 1650

Hmm… isn’t that interesting? I told this person to eat more times in a day, yet they really ended up eating less. It’s not only the caloric deficit that resulted in their successful fat shredding, it’s also the macronutrient breakdown… which was properly adjusted this time around by moi!

[not exactly what I had in mind when I said high-frequency eating…]

And it’s not only fat loss, those who want to get bigger and pack on muscle… eating 6 times a day is the fucking standard. STANDARD. I know many guys that compete and none of them eat less than 6 times a day. Some even chow down on food 8 times a day… which is frankly a bit much for me but hey, these guys compete and putting on mass is of major importance to them. This is the beauty of the high frequency method – it can be effortlessly adapted to your situation. Just adjust the calories and the macronutrient ratios and off you go.

6. Because I said so…

Couldn’t really think of a sixth reason but I had to come up with something to stay loyal to my catchy-ass title. So I figured this was as good a reason as any. If all else fails and you hard-asses are still contemplating why you should eat frequently… it’s because I fucking said so!

You can also mention it to your friends.

“Dude, why the hell are you eating so often?”

“Becuz man… FJ said so!”

It will get you instant respect, a raise from your boss, loyalty from strangers and you’ll get laid way more often. How can you argue with that?

- FitJerk

Discuss: Do you practice frequently eating? Let me know in your thoughts below. This is a free country, express your freedom of opinion or go live somewhere where they love you for keeping your lip shut

Also, be sure to check out the brand new Social Fitness Site called Fitmarker!

Originally Written By FitJerk for www.fitjerk.com – © 2010 All Rights Reserved – Content not to be republished without author consent.

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© 2010 – 2011, By FitJerk. FitJerk.com is a division of Flawless Fitness Media – All Rights Reserved – No part of this post is to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face. All images are copyright of their respective owners.

Only LOSERS have nothing to say or discuss. Put your thoughts, comments or general rants in the comment section below. FJ does not use censorship but obvious racial slurs and over-the-top stupidity will be deleted.

So what exactly are they planning on doing?

“…to cut the sodium found in each serving of its key brands by one-fourth in five years” [Source]

But wait! There’s more!

“The company also set two goals for the next 10 years: to cut the average added sugar per serving by 25 percent and saturated fat per serving by 15 percent, in addition to adding more whole grains, fruits, vegetables and low-fat dairy into its array of products.”

After reading this article I really wasn’t sure how I felt. I mean on one hand I have a soft-spot which likes to recognize and mention any kind of conscious effort towards better health, but this is fucking Pepsi Co. A billion dollar corporation, and when it comes to business, emotions should be chucked at the door. They sure didn’t have a conscience while they sold their over-sugared crap for the past how many years? No wait… decades.

So my final impression of this health stunt? (which is what it really is) – Who the hell cares. They are making a crappy product less crappy. Whooptie doo. It ain’t enough. I rarely have pop – the only time I do is when I want a rum&coke. But that’s the thing, I use COKE, not Pepsi.

But if they are even remotely serious about this… here are further suggestions for this company:

• How about eliminating the massive amounts of MSG in Doritos? Classic case of a good product saturated with shitty ingredients.
• Screw 5 & 10 years… who the hell will remember your silly “reduce sugar” plan after a god damn decade? Reduce this shit NOW (1 year) and replace all the aspartame with Stevia. I believe Coke has already successfully implemented Stevia in some it’s beverages so why cant you?
• TRUE health drinks aren’t hard to make. Really, they aren’t… fire your sugar hungry chemists and hire ones that actually give a rats ass about their own health, then ask them to make a beverage they would consume themselves AND would give to their own family.

I’d say that’s a pretty good start. Much better than their marathon inspired plan that results in a quick PR boost.

- FitJerk.com

Discuss: I know you have suggestions so let’s hear them…  What else should they do?

Originally Written By FitJerk for www.fitjerk.com - © 2010 All Rights Reserved – Content not to be republished without author consent.

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© 2010, By FitJerk. FitJerk.com is a division of Flawless Fitness Media – All Rights Reserved – No part of this post is to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face. All images are copyright of their respective owners.

Only LOSERS have nothing to say or discuss. Put your thoughts, comments or general rants in the comment section below. FJ does not use censorship but obvious racial slurs and over-the-top stupidity will be deleted.