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Douche #1: Mark Zuckerberg

Ah! Our very first person to make it on the list, and it’s none other than Mark Zuckerberg! For those of you who don’t know, this guy is the founder and CEO of a website that has hooked in more users than crack. It’s called Facebook, heard of it? It’s made him a billionaire at age 23. Now please don’t get all rowdy with me and say I’m jealous of him because of this fact… because I assure you I am not.

How can I be jealous of him? He doesn’t have a DoucheBag list or a 6pack! Pfft. The truth is that I actually liked this dude… now, not so much.

So, why the change of “heart”? Because of his retarded decisions as of late. Let’s start with what go him on this list:

  • He practically RUINED facebook by making changes that are NOT needed. It’s not broken and he’s trying to fix it!
  • He made some VERY poor choices regarding the privacy issue and didn’t realize what a douchebag mistake he made until the Facebook community up-roared.
  • Facebook is now trying to be all Twitter-like. Some say competition is a good thing, and it is. But honestly, I have a different crowd that I use Facebook for, and I have a different crowd that I use Twitter for. This retard actually thinks Twitter is a THREAT? Because that’s what it seems like with all these “LIVE” updates and shit. Twitter will NEVER be Facbook buddy… stick to your thing, and let the Tweepers do their thing.
  • He asks the Facebook community to vote on new ideas and features, and when the community is CLEARLY against it, he goes ahead and implements them anyway! WTF? Facebook now has 200MILLION users… what kind of an asshole abuses that kind of following? You should be grateful that you’re still getting sign ups after the messĀ  you’ve made Mark, honestly.
  • Social advertising, which I believe was probably one of the MAJOR ways for Facebook to make money (correct me if I’m wrong) was a complete train wreck. Beacon sucked monkey nuts and was a privacy nightmare. And here’s the best part… Facebook offered it’s users to Opt-out of the Beacon program, yet discreetly, it was STILL collecting information about them. WTF? How much of an idiot do you have to be to outright LIE to your loyal users? Well apparently a pretty big one as Mark has shown.
  • How about their pathetic attempt at PPC? After all this hype, and the fact that they were supposed to compete with AdWords… HA! It was a lame attempt. On a positive note I have to say, they are slowly improving it, it’s maturing & I hope that this is something they get right… for their sake.
  • His fucking petty apology letters. Have you seen this shit? After everyone of the above mentioned fuck-ups, Mark has posted a public apology letter admitting that he was a complete douche. So, somehow this makes it all OK? Sorry Mark, it does not.

At this point, I feel as if this CEO — Leader — of Facebook is trying to make it fail. Honestly, what are the thoughts that run through his mind? “Let’s see how much bullshit I can get away with until people start bitchin. Then I’ll just write a sorry letter and move on”

This is exactly why Mr. Mark Zuckerberg, you have earned my…

douche_award

CONGRATULATIONS — YOU ARE NOW A DOUCHEBAG!

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Douche #1: Mark Zuckerberg4.353
3 Comments
  • packing supplies and packaging supplier
    August 26, 2009
    Reply #1

    I Like this Blog. It is really nice.

  • Matt
    November 22, 2009
    Reply #2

    you didn\’t even mention how he stole the idea for facebook from another site he was helping create, then froze his original business partner out of the facebook billions in the most douche-worthy form of betrayal ever.

  • - Fit Jerk -
    November 24, 2009
    Reply #3

    Yeah, I read about that but I wasn’t sure it was the real truth. I knew he was working with some other dudes but then I was like… if you associated with someone and he ended up becoming a BILLIONAIRE, wouldn’t you throw shit out of proportion?

    So it could be a money jealousy thing. Still… doesn’t change the fact that he’s a douche.

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