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Douche #1: Mark Zuckerberg


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Ah! Our very first person to make it on the list, and it’s none other than Mark Zuckerberg! For those of you who don’t know, this guy is the founder and CEO of a website that has hooked in more users than crack. It’s called Facebook, heard of it? It’s made him a billionaire at age 23. Now please don’t get all rowdy with me and say I’m jealous of him because of this fact… because I assure you I am not.

How can I be jealous of him? He doesn’t have a DoucheBag list or a 6pack! Pfft. The truth is that I actually liked this dude… now, not so much.

So, why the change of “heart”? Because of his retarded decisions as of late. Let’s start with what go him on this list:

  • He practically RUINED facebook by making changes that are NOT needed. It’s not broken and he’s trying to fix it!
  • He made some VERY poor choices regarding the privacy issue and didn’t realize what a douchebag mistake he made until the Facebook community up-roared.
  • Facebook is now trying to be all Twitter-like. Some say competition is a good thing, and it is. But honestly, I have a different crowd that I use Facebook for, and I have a different crowd that I use Twitter for. This retard actually thinks Twitter is a THREAT? Because that’s what it seems like with all these “LIVE” updates and shit. Twitter will NEVER be Facbook buddy… stick to your thing, and let the Tweepers do their thing.
  • He asks the Facebook community to vote on new ideas and features, and when the community is CLEARLY against it, he goes ahead and implements them anyway! WTF? Facebook now has 200MILLION users… what kind of an asshole abuses that kind of following? You should be grateful that you’re still getting sign ups after the messĀ  you’ve made Mark, honestly.
  • Social advertising, which I believe was probably one of the MAJOR ways for Facebook to make money (correct me if I’m wrong) was a complete train wreck. Beacon sucked monkey nuts and was a privacy nightmare. And here’s the best part… Facebook offered it’s users to Opt-out of the Beacon program, yet discreetly, it was STILL collecting information about them. WTF? How much of an idiot do you have to be to outright LIE to your loyal users? Well apparently a pretty big one as Mark has shown.
  • How about their pathetic attempt at PPC? After all this hype, and the fact that they were supposed to compete with AdWords… HA! It was a lame attempt. On a positive note I have to say, they are slowly improving it, it’s maturing & I hope that this is something they get right… for their sake.
  • His fucking petty apology letters. Have you seen this shit? After everyone of the above mentioned fuck-ups, Mark has posted a public apology letter admitting that he was a complete douche. So, somehow this makes it all OK? Sorry Mark, it does not.

At this point, I feel as if this CEO — Leader — of Facebook is trying to make it fail. Honestly, what are the thoughts that run through his mind? “Let’s see how much bullshit I can get away with until people start bitchin. Then I’ll just write a sorry letter and move on”

This is exactly why Mr. Mark Zuckerberg, you have earned my…

douche_award

CONGRATULATIONS — YOU ARE NOW A DOUCHEBAG!

———–
© 2009 – 2012, By FitJerk. FitJerk.com is a division of Flawless Fitness Media – All Rights Reserved – No part of this post is to be republished without author consent under any forms of media (including print, internet, video or audio transcription). Doing so is a violation against copyright law and should be punishable by a punch to the face. All images are copyright of their respective owners.

Only LOSERS have nothing to say or discuss. Put your thoughts, comments or general rants in the comment section below. FJ does not use censorship but obvious racial slurs and over-the-top stupidity will be deleted.

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Douche #1: Mark Zuckerberg, 4.7 out of 5 based on 56 ratings
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23 Comments
  • packing supplies and packaging supplier
    August 26, 2009
    Reply #1
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    I Like this Blog. It is really nice.

  • Matt
    November 22, 2009
    Reply #2
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    you didn\’t even mention how he stole the idea for facebook from another site he was helping create, then froze his original business partner out of the facebook billions in the most douche-worthy form of betrayal ever.

  • - Fit Jerk -
    November 24, 2009
    Reply #3
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    Yeah, I read about that but I wasn’t sure it was the real truth. I knew he was working with some other dudes but then I was like… if you associated with someone and he ended up becoming a BILLIONAIRE, wouldn’t you throw shit out of proportion?

    So it could be a money jealousy thing. Still… doesn’t change the fact that he’s a douche.

    • lol
      July 25, 2011
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      OF COURSE it WAS the real truth. Why Winklevoss twins sued the douche and how they successfully proved it at the court?

  • cedric
    May 1, 2010
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    Laughed my ass of with this one. Sooooo true. Mark zuckerberg is an ASSHOLE!
    btw: removed (yes removed, not suspended) my facebook account about a month ago, right before he did it again with his damn privacy rip-offs

    • - Fit Jerk -
      May 5, 2010
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      Glad you agree… and that blows. I’ve also heard from a friend who got her shit deleted because of some picture someone ELSE complained about. I make it sound like it was some skanky ass pic but in all seriousness, it was actually nothing out of the ordinary.

      What the fuck can you do though? When you have 400million users, it seems that giving a shit is outta the question. They’re douchebags and one day, facebook will fall. Users make companies and users break them (Myspace). It seems they are forgetting this crucial fact and will pay dearly for it.

  • urafag
    May 2, 2010
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    That’s right, you have to be a douchebag to be worth billions. Idiot.

    • - Fit Jerk -
      May 5, 2010
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      Haha, so because he’s worth billions he is some kind of saint? Get the fuck outta here.

      Listen FB fanboy, why don’t you go jerk him off? I’m sure he won’t feel violated, since apparently you don’t when he releases those absurd privacy policies. It seems you both like to be screwed in one way or another. The perfect match.

  • ppumpkinco
    May 15, 2010
    Reply #9
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    If you’re a facebook developer, then you really have cause to hate this guy. They’re always changing the terms of service for developers and endangering established business models. Facebook created an open platform and made promises to developers who then built companies around creating apps for Facebook. There are thousands of people who make their living of creating apps that keep people coming back to Facebook. And then Facebook cavalierly changes the rules of the game and use strong arm tactics, threatening to kill your business if you don’t agree to their new terms. They are an AWFUL business partner on every level.

  • John
    December 23, 2010
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    I think his name should have been – Mark “SuckerBug”… This guy is so retrad that he doesn’t know the purpose of his company…. He created it for a vested interest and is now totally clueless about what he’s gonna do with it….

    What a douce…. He is indeed an ACCIDENTAL billionaire.. FUCK SuckerBug….

  • joe
    March 21, 2011
    Reply #11
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    This guy is a total douche. He is the epitome of a douche. He steals an idea – then attempts to differentiate this idea by claiming – “it is my code.”

    Then, the most cowardly – he back-stabs his friend – his only real friend – by jumping on the bandwagon of a has-been who has no loyalty to this douche and cuts off his real buddy.

    What a total douche. Worthless cat who, may have the $ but he will never know that loyalty and true friendship will always prevail over douchebag betrayal.

  • FuckZuckerbitch
    June 1, 2011
    Reply #12
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    FUCK ZUCKERBERG I WISH THAT PUNK ASS PIECE OF SHIT WAS DEAD!!!!

  • Negrodamus
    June 15, 2011
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    Fuck facebook. Its an overrated website created for antisocial pinheads that is reminiscent of a shitty high school party.

  • Taylor
    July 8, 2011
    Reply #14
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    Yeah, I used to live 2 blocks away from him in Palo Alto. He is an asshole to the Nth degree. Somebody respond to this. My email is taylor_johnson_1@yahoo.com

  • FUCKerberg
    July 24, 2011
    Reply #15
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    This youngest billionaire is why you are poor jobless homeless, since this heartless motherfucker is collecting our money world wide causing economic crisis. The more successful is this heartless motherfucker the poorer we are!!!!!! And he is a thief, a backstabber and a betrayer.

  • FUCKerberg
    July 24, 2011
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    there are hundreds of similar sites like fecebook but why how this one site could monopolize social media market?

  • ghostworld420
    August 6, 2011
    Reply #17
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    Just looking at Zuckerberg’s ugly puss you can tell what a shithead he is. He’s the kind of guy who would get bullied in school but you would actually root for the bullies. If only he could be run over by a truck and splatter his fucking head, I just might start believing in God. :/

  • Fuckerberg
    October 24, 2011
    Reply #18
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    Kill Zuckerberg Now!!!

  • Reg
    November 1, 2011
    Reply #19
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    Zuckerberg is a cunt.

  • Opinionated Sparkie
    November 6, 2011
    Reply #20
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    Truly and utterly an asshole. Screwed his buddy (who apparently won millions), stole ideas (wink-wink), and didn’t have the balls to truly admit it.

    W A N K E R – rich one, but a W A N K E R nonetheless.

  • Billy Jack
    November 10, 2011
    Reply #21
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    This guy may well be the all-time, hands-down winner for being the ultimate master of ALL douchebaggery. That’s right – no one even touches him. Well — maybe Silvio Berlusconi runs a close second. But at least Silvio’s got a dick.

    Zuck quite literally has an “aura” of douchebaggery that completely surrounds him. Even if you didn’t know him, and passed him on the street, there’s a good chance you’d say, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure that guy is a total douchebag…”

  • Mischievous Dick
    February 2, 2012
    Reply #22
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    Mark Zuckerberg rapes puppies and eats kitten casseroles. That’s so effed up. Now you tell us he’s not a puppy-raping, kitten-munching douchebag . Very disturbing – before this was revealed, it was previously thought that only Barack “The Stain” Obama practiced such evil deeds.

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