Alright, so I just finished reading an articled called Weighing In On The Biggest Loser. It’s about how a few “fitness pros” are criticizing and putting a bad light one of the most popular TV shows… The Biggest Loser. Now after reading this article, I realized that it’s total bull-crap because these “pros” are completely missing the bigger picture! They are so off- point that it’s fucking shocking.

I figured it was time for me to lay on a few verbal bitch slaps, lessons in human psychology & most of all, Common sense. Yes, Jonathan Ross, Pete McCall, Diane Raymond, Laura Gideon and all the rest of you pansies… I’m looking at you, dead in the eyes, and I see weakness!

First of all, the mere fact that they are dissin’ up one of FJ’s favorite shows is already a no-no! But that shows they have some balls, so it’s time to take things head on. I’ll be debunking every single one of their the bullshit reasons and will show you WHY they are completely out of place.

So to all of you about to go on this little journey… grab some tea, it’s gona be one helluva ride! (For the sake of easy reading, those who criticized the show in the above-mentioned article will now be referred as “lame pros”)

Let me start with this: I’m not gona say that the advice given by “lame pros” was BAD, these people actually look credible, but you have to understand the context in which we are talking about here. The Biggest Loser is a TV show for crying out loud… So therefore we have to look at everything from a different perspective.

As you will notice, every point these “lame pros” make constantly reveals one major fact: They clearly DO NO understand the concept of entertainment. And just in case one of you “lame pros” is reading this and muttering “Screw you FJ, I do too understand how entertainment works!”

Oh really? Well if that was true then I why is your name mentioned in that article along with a quote of you bitching? Exactly, so please STFU!

It’s time to teach those fools a lesson that they’ll never forget. Let’s start with Top Gear. Why is Top Gear (From BBC UK) the most watched car show in the WORLD? Because it’s the most entertaining. Bar-none! The chemistry between Jermey Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May is literally priceless. But on top of that, they do provide some serious content and thoroughly review the super cars which are featured that week.

Next, why do 90,000 people listen & watch Gary Vaynerchuk talk loudly and passionatly about a few bottles of wine instead of reading The Wine Spectator or stuff from Robert Parker? Because Gary is more entertaining than both those wine-juggernauts combined… but on top of that, he knows what the fuck he’s talking about, straight up, no BS. Check him out at WineLibrary TV.

Then we have Seinfeld. How can it be one of the most watched and the most beloved shows on TV… ever… when it’s literally about nothing!? You guessed it… because it’s extremely entertaining. I think you get the point by now.

So you see, a lot of people that watch The Biggest Loser, don’t do it because they’re obese, they watch it purely for entertainment purposes!

They think its FUNNY SHIT when Jillian is screaming at the fatty and she starts crying.

They think its funny shit that most of the contestants on there can’t run to save their own lives.

They think it’s funny shit when one of the contestants start to cheat without the trainers knowing.

It’s ok, you don’t have to feel bad, laugh your ass off and let the world know. Comedy is truth and pain mixed together… and is comedy considered entertainment? You bet your biggest loser ass it is!

(P.S- On a side note, I just want to say that although it’s funny on TV, in real life… I got nothing but love for my clients. If you are there, in front of me, it’s because you want to change, and I respect that, and I will kick your ass till you get to where you need to be. Count on it!)

So, here are a few of the reasons why the toolbags be hatin’ on my favorite show, yo!

Too Much Weight Loss

The first aspect of the show where those “lame pros” have an anal discomfort with is the rapid weight loss which the contestants experience every week (such as 15lbs or more). You might be wondering, why do they have their panties in a bunch about this? I mean that’s what the whole fucking show is about isn’t it? Losing weight? Yeah, this actually perplexed me too.

Then I realized something… they are stuck to this ridiculous dogma which claims that if you lose more than 1-2lbs per week, it’s considered “unhealthy”. Are you kidding me?

This is a TV show where people are VERY obese, who the fuck wants to sit and watch someone drop 1lbs per week. I’m sorry but you couldn’t tell me enough jokes to warrant me sitting through that shit. I’d rather watch the snail-paced supplement award show from bodybuilding.com. You also have to understand that some of these people weigh like 300lbs, and when they drop weight, they lose everything. They lose fat, they lose water weight and they lose muscle mass (and they do have some muscle underneath, trust me, you can’t be that big and not have some natural muscle growth).

The 1-2lbs per week thing? Yeah that’s great if you want to drop fat and keep the muscle. Also, a program like that is for normal individuals who want to get in BETTER shape, but for the contestants of The Biggest Loser, things need to be switched to OVERDRIVE, and I see absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I Don’t “See” Any Progressions

The next thing they cry about is the fact that there are no progressions shown in the exercises for the contestants… And it seems that they are instantly pushed into strenuous activities without proper education and instruction. Again, the keyword, “seems”. When I read this I was like really? I mean REALLY? Are they being complete morons, or do they just lack common sense at times? I can’t believe the “lame pros” actually think these contestants would be thrown into a high intensity program on their very first day! OFCOURSE they are taught progressions… Here is a excerpt from that very article. It’s from the winner of Season 5:

[Ali Vincent—the Phoenix-based winner of The Biggest Loser season 5, who is now a spokesperson for 24 Hour Fitness— reports that she did not literally hit the ground running when she first set foot on The Biggest Loser campus. “We start out very, very slow,” she says. “I started walking on a treadmill, 1 minute on and 1 minute off, at what I thought was high intensity—and it was like 2.6 [miles per hour]. At the time, it was the fastest I’d ever walked in my life. It was hard.” Vincent says she ran at high speeds only for short bouts—such as 30 seconds or 1 minute. “And that was at the very end when I was extraordinarily healthy compared to the beginning,” she says.]

Well then factually, I don’t really have anything to say because you heard the truth directly from the horses’ mouth. I just think it’s so fucking ignorant of the “lame pros” to blurt out their claims without talking to any of the trainers or contestants of the show. This again proves that they do NOT understand the concept of entertainment! Who in their right mind wants to watch a butterball walk at 2.6 mph on a treadmill while their trainer is like “ohhh… Look at you, so cute, I love your efforts, don’t get too crazy now ok?” Yeah… fuck that shit!

So at this point a few people might say, “yes but FJ, you know that they went through progressions because you’re in the industry, but the general audience isn’t”. A very valid point, and yes, to the average person it might seem this way, and you know what? Unfortunately they won’t know the truth until they work with someone who knows what they’re doing.

But you see, there is no way “lame pros” (who are knowledgeable, mind you) should make the statements they made, nor should they be crying about the “intense” image which the show projects. If anything, they should be happy because it will make their job EASIER. How? Because now people have the mindset of working their ass off… Which means less complaining and whining during training sessions.

I think what the “lame pros” are really worried about is what they are going to say to the person who wants to try the plyometric workout they saw on TV last night. I have an easy solution… let’s say someone comes up to me and is obviously not in ideal shape, or lacks the prerequisite skills to learn a back tuck. You know what I’d do? I’d say “You’re NOT ready yet”. That’s it, 4 fucking words. Is that so hard? Not if you have the balls to say it.

Last Chance Workouts? Crazy!

Next we have the nut-munchers say that the The Last Chance Workouts are “bizarre” and “un-necessary”. For those of you who don’t know anything about the show, the LCW is the final workout before the weigh-ins. It’s the contestant’s final chance to burn as many calories as they can to avoid being kicked off the show. It’s a brilliant idea and some solid piece of entertainment… So why the hate this time? Well because the workouts are usually reserved for high end athletes, and… “The extreme methods employed on The Biggest Loser appear to pay no consideration to the structural or physical abilities of the contestants,” says Pullen.

Look, I’m all for proper form and biomechanically correct workouts but the fact that these people can DO the workouts is not only a feat in itself, but also a valiant display of willpower. I’ve seen this show and I know what the trainers make them do, and you know what? Not only does it teach the contestants something new, it keeps everything fresh.

It keeps their bodies from becoming used to the same old shit every week, that’s something I’m ALL for. Oddly enough, one of the “lame pros” mentioned something good: “Seventy-five percent of the workouts and exercises are great,” says Jim Willett, a personal trainer in Toronto, Ontario, and owner of FABS™ CyberFitness™. “They are probably similar to how any good trainer would train their clients. The other quarter of the time, however, I question what I see. It’s not the exercises; it’s who’s performing them. Form and technique occasionally seem to get thrown out the window.

Hey a fellow Canadian! You know what, I have to agree with Jim on this one, their form does go completely south at certain points because of exhaustion… But I have to say, watching a struggling fatty is pretty damn funny. Don’t lie, I know you think so too… Even if you’ve been fat before, just laugh it off. If I can do it, you can do it.

Stop Yelling At Me, It Hurt My Feeeling!

And we get to the final reason which makes the criticizing “lame pros” shiver. And that’s the intensity and the yelling. Oh why the yelling… Why oh why?

WHY? Because it’s god damn NEEDED that’s why. The “lame pros” in that article are all arguing about how “Screaming and yelling in a negative manner wouldn’t fly with paying clients”… No shit Sherlock! That’s exactly why you aren’t allowed to speak, because the contestants on The Biggest Losers AREN’T paying clients – they willingly signed up to be there you dipshit! The complete irrelevancy of his statement really pisses me off. Sorry Willet, you had one credible point but you are WAY off on this one.

I mean think about it, of course you can’t yell hardcore to a paying client… He’s already given you his fucking money. If he doesn’t do what you tell him to do, who’s loss is it in the end? The trainer’s or the client’s? Hmm… We be doing rocket science up in here eh?

In fact, if you gave two shits about your client, you WOULD yell in their face. I get pretty intense sometimes, and I have to because if you go out and mention that you trained with FJ… Now the reputation of my name is on the line, and if you make me look bad… I’ll be very, very pissed off. If the trainer is even worth half his name, he’d totally get up in that shit and demand results! I’m not saying be negative, but being intense with purpose is needed!

But no… the “lame pros” won’t yell, not ever, because then their “paid” clients will take their money and spend it on someone else who will stroke their ego with soft kind words of nothingness. So that’s a loss in business, and I understand that in this economy, you sometimes need to bend over backwards and take it up the ass to keep people happy so the income keeps flowing. We’ve become whores at the mercy of the system, it’s ok. Because in the end, people have god damn bills to pay right?

Fortunately though, The Biggest Loser doesn’t have this problem. I mean sure, the trainers are paid but there is competition in the air! (Can ya smell it?) They want their team to come out on top. They ACTUALLY give a shit about results… Hmm, from which handsome gentleman have you heard that from before? *wink*

In closing, I just want you to realize that:

This show would not be a worldwide phenomenon if the contestants didn’t rapidly lose weight.

It would NOT be such a viral sensation if they weren’t shown doing ridiculous amounts of exercise while sweating buckets.

It would NOT crack you up if Jillian didn’t scream in the face of grown men and make them cry like little girls

And most importantly, it would NOT keep airing if it didn’t inspire millions of people to get up off their ass and move.

Unfortunately for these “lame pros”, they will keep criticizing it, and make irrelevant statements about it because they want everything to be realistic, and in the midst of all this, the idea of ratings and viewership has completely vanished from their minds… Which is probably why they will never be on TV (Thank the lord).

Finally, I just want to leave you with a quote from Bob Harper, who is one of the trainers on the show…

“If we scream, it’s because we care, maybe too much.”

…Couldn’t have said it better myself.

- FitJerk
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